What etiquette experts have to say about dos and don’ts when it comes to pregnancy

With so many women facing etiquette dilemmas, it’s time for a reality check. We asked local etiquette gurus — including Lisa Orr, Louise Fox, owner of the Etiquette Ladies, and the Star’s etiquette expert Karen Cleveland — for their advice on the dos and don’ts of pregnancy politeness.

Don’ts

Don’t touch her belly: It might be tempting to reach out and rub a pregnant woman’s belly, but this rule is simple: Don’t do it. “Any kind of uninvited touching is inappropriate, whether it’s your best friend or some stranger,” Fox says. Even asking to touch someone can be awkward, so it’s best to wait for a mom to offer (and if she doesn’t — back off).

Don’t offer unsolicited advice: “Don’t tell her how amazing or awful your birth was. Or whether she should have a midwife, a doula, be in a hospital or go hug a tree,” Cleveland says.

“Truly: It’s not your business.”

Don’t comment on her size: Whether it’s her body size or the shape of her baby bump, just zip your lips, according to Orr. “It’s going to land in a negative way and you’re making a lot of judgments,” she adds. “If you need to comment on their appearance, just say they look fabulous.”

Don’t ask when she’s due: One of the biggest mistakes you can make is asking someone’s due date, Fox says. “But maybe they’re not due,” she says.

“Maybe they’re just a large person, or they put on weight, or they already had the baby.” It’s a recipe for awkwardness at best — and being totally insensitive and offensive at worst — so, just avoid asking in the first place.

Dos

Do give up your seat: Offering pregnant women a seat on public transit is both a polite gesture and a bylaw, Orr says. And that means speaking up and encouraging people to offer a seat even if you’re standing. “Even if the person doesn’t give up their seat, the pregnant woman has a much better day,” Orr says.

Do offer to help: If someone close to you says they’re having a baby, offer to help, be it giving them a ride if needed or babysitting when the bundle of joy arrives, Fox suggests.

Do take cues from the mom: “If she’s not taking the conversation too deep or intimate a place, follow her lead,” Cleveland says.

And if you’re not sure what to say, keep it simple.

“(Tell) the beautiful mom-to-be how awesome she looks and wish her the best of luck.”