Getting a tattoo of goldfish not worth fight with mom
I’m a 16-year-old girl. I want a tattoo. Not big and ugly — just a little goldfish on my back. I went to the tattoo place and they said I had to bring my parents to sign a form. So I spoke to my mom (dad’s gone) and she refuses. Mom always says “your body is yours; don’t let anyone do stuff you don’t want them to.” But if it’s my body, shouldn’t she let me decide?
Your body is not, actually, “yours.” It’s “you.” And that’s a big difference.
Something that’s “yours” is a possession; you own it, you can buy, sell or trade it. It’s not part of who you are.
While the question of what you do with a possession might seem important at the time, in the long run, it usually doesn’t matter much. Because stuff can be replaced. But your body is, actually, you. It’s not a thing you live inside, nor clothing you put on. It’s you, and anytime you do anything to your body, it affects who you are — how you feel, how others relate to you and so on.
When my body gets sick, I’m sick; when my body feels good, I feel good. There’s no “you” who lives inside this thing called a body; you’re not a hermit crab curled up in a shell.
Your body is you, you are it, and you can’t buy a replacement at the Body Shop.
So what? Well, I suspect your mom won’t let you get a tattoo because that’s a change that will be there your whole life, and she wants to be sure you know what you’re doing.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not antitat; I have a little one myself, and I’m glad I do. It’s just that even a pretty little goldfish on your back is a big decision, and your mom is erring on the side of caution.
But notice I used the word “erring.” To err is to make a mistake, and I think your mom is making a mistake by not signing.
There are lots of important things for a 16-year-ld and her mother to argue about: relationships, values, education and so on. Even sex.
But a goldfish (even a permanent one) isn’t important enough to be on that list.
I assume you really have given this some serious thought. I also assume you’re pretty well full grown, so that tiny fish won’t develop into an Asian Carp over the next year or two.
If so, my advice to your mom would be “sign the darned form.” And my advice for you would be to show her this column; maybe that will change her mind.
Sometimes parents just need a nudge from an old guy.
If she won’t budge, be patient. Remember what I said: This isn’t important enough to fight about. When you’re 18, you can get ink without her permission, and that’s not long to wait.
In the meantime, buy yourself a live fish. At least you can see it without standing in front of a mirror.
You don’t have to wiggle your butt to make it move. And if you get tired of it, flush! That’s so much easier than getting de-tattified. Send your questions to star.ethics@yahoo.ca