It’s time to stop lying to your kids about Santa
I am the mother of two boys, 11 and 6, attending public school.
Last week, my 6-year-old exclaimed that his female friend told him Santa wasn’t real. I was completely caught off-guard; my 11-year-old just figured it out this year. I am unaware of this family’s beliefs and religion but I am very upset that a 6-year-old passed such extensive knowledge on to my child.
I teach my children to respect other religions. Should I speak to the parents?
Absolutely not. I have two things to say; you won’t like either.
First, my wife and I have a wonderful 10-year-old in our life; I can tell you, without a shred of doubt, that unless your 11-year-old lives in a different universe than our Sarah, he didn’t just find out about Santa. No way.
Perhaps your son just wanted to keep you happy. More likely, he decided that perpetuating your Santa-shtick leads to more presents.
In any event, the odds of a modern 11-year-old believing in Santa are worse than the likelihood of St. Nick actually existing.
The second thing is more important. You make reference, twice, to “beliefs and religion” — as if faith in the fat fellow were a matter of religious conviction. It isn’t.
Let me clarify: Jesus is the holy guy conceived by Mary; Santa’s the money-making dude conceived by Coke.
Your confusion, however, substantiates my main point. It’s this: ethically, it is wrong to tell any child, at any age, that Santa Claus is a real person.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t narrate the wonderful stories of the season; if that’s your thing, go right ahead.
But you’ll also read the Grinch, without trying to convince your kids there really are Whos down in Whoville. You’ll talk about Rudolph without saying “Oh, yes, there actually are reindeer with nasal LEDs.” You may even share the Bethlehem story, hopefully without trying to convince your kid that stars really move and virgins procreate.
Your kids don’t care whether these stories are literally true; they just love the yarn and the telling.
So why lie about Santa? I’ve never understood this deceit, this foolishness.
Is it really wise to convince your child that an old guy can enter your house without being noticed, in the middle of the night, prowl around, eat your cookies — and that this is a good thing? Is it smart to teach that this intruder is “watching you” at school, in the playground, wherever — and that’s fine?
And especially — is it ethically OK to teach that good children get lots of blessings, while bad ones get curses? That girl in their class who got cancer must have been wicked!
Thank God other kids will set your kids straight. But when they do, their conclusion will be “Mom and Dad have been lying; I wonder what else they lie about?”
Long before now, your kids figured out that Santa is a character in a wonderful story — but it’s just a story. They should have learned this from you before they heard it from friends.
If your 6-year-old needs a “female friend” to tell him the truth about Santa, I wonder where he’ll learn about sex?