LOUIS WHO?
One of comedy’s top stars performs at a sold-out Air Canada Centre. Two other comics urge you to forget about him and see them instead
Louis C.K., arguably the hottest comedian in North America (though Kevin Hart fans could dispute that), is performing Thursday night at the Air Canada Centre. Close to 20,000 comedy fans rushed to get tickets for the now sold-out show — but what if you weren’t so lucky?
You could take a financial hit and get a ticket from a scalper (online or in the flesh). However, you have alternatives. There are other standup comics headlining shows in Toronto on Thursday and, faced with the unenviable task of competing with C.K., two of them — Toronto’s Nigel Grinstead and Hollywood’s Baron Vaughn — are here to tell you why you should pass up the arena and come to their comedy club instead.
Nigel Grinstead:
When Louis C.K. started his comedy career in 1980whatever, never did he think he would be stomping on the well-intentioned dreams of a small-town boy from the Ottawa Valley. But here I am, sleeping on a floor-bound mattress like a serial killer with no plan, competing with the ticket sales of a human bowl of mashed potatoes that is somehow greater than I am.
I get it, he’s funny. Really funny. And if you want to spend your night listening to a hard-boiled egg on fire tell tales of manipulating his genitals, then that’s your palate and I would never speak ill of you for enjoying what you enjoy.
But let me ask you this: have you ever considered watching a comedian before the stress of making bigots laugh ravaged his hairline?
All I’m saying is that Louis has a show at the Air Canada Centre this Thursday and I have a show at Yuk Yuk’s in downtown Toronto. Now you may be asking yourself: What the hell is the Air Canada Centre? It’s a small indie theatre in the downtown core where Maple Leaf fans go to refill their bathtubs with salty tears to scrub yet another season out of their skin.
Are you tired of sold-out shows? Shows where you don’t know whether or not you should relinquish your armrest to the unsoaped goliath beside you? If that’s an issue, here’s a promise from me to you: my show will never be sold out. Feel free to spread your wings like a fledgling bird while I pepper your ears with hack jokes you’re bound to relate to.
Am I the best? Absolutely not. Is Louis C.K. the best? Absolutely. Can you afford to see him when he comes into town? I hope not. Because if you can’t, that means you may have enough money in your savings account to take a gamble on a terrible upcoming prospect. If you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself with mail, you’re in good company. I won’t judge you, please come judge me. Nigel Grinstead is at Yuk Yuk’s downtown, 224 Richmond St. W., from Thursday to Saturday. Tickets at yukyuks.com. He’s on Twitter @NigelGrinstead.
Baron Vaughn: You should see Louis C.K. If you are a fan of standup comedy, by all means, you should see Louis C.K. at least once. He is, arguably, one of the great comedians of our time. Some might even say one of the greats with a capital “THE.”
He’s worked hard — for multiple decades — to get to where he is. And this weekend he’s going to be in your city at a giant venue! WHAT!? AH! If you didn’t know until reading this, you’re probably too late! WHAT!? Are there even tickets left!? AH!
I had the opportunity to open for him once. It was a fluke. I found out at 4 p.m. on a random Monday that a show I was doing that night had been cancelled. Louis C.K. was now going to be doing an hour. Everyone was cancelled. Except the host. Wait a minute: I was the host! The show had been announced at 1 p.m. It was already sold out. Three hours. Sold out. Incredible.
What I’m trying to say is, Louis doesn’t need you. He wants you to be there, sure, but the fact is he won’t even be able to see your face. He doesn’t need you to be there.
But I do. I want you there and need you there. I’m the guy who’s on the verge. I’m the guy in the small sweaty rooms WORKING. S---. OUT. I’m the guy who didn’t have six specials in the past 10 years. I’m the guy who has some stuff out there, but if you want to see me, you actually gotta come and see me.
Between me and Louis, I’m the unpredictable. I’m the unknown. And I will see your face. Baron Vaughn is at Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor St. W., from Thursday to Saturday; tickets at comedybar.ca. He’s on Twitter @barvonblaq and his current album is Blaxistential Crisis.