Is it OK to use a smartphone at dinner?
When did it become OK to have your phones out at dinner? Is it? I didn’t get the memo . . . I don’t know whether it is! I certainly hope not.
I get it if you’re expecting an important call or email to come through, but to just have phones out for the sake of it gives the impression that you’re actually hoping for a distraction, or something more exciting to happen through your phone than with the person or people that you’re having dinner with.
I know that I feel small when I’m at a dinner, having a chat and someone picks up their phone and starts to reply to a text. Was I boring? Am I am a sucky conversationalist? It’s just no good.
Try this: When you arrive at dinner, suggest a “phones away” policy for the night, and suggest a “check phone break” halfway through the night.
Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? Well, yes, it does. But it is better than having four people around a dinner table for three hours, glued to screens, I’d say.
My friend writes email using terms like “l8r.” She comes across as a kid. Should I say something to her? I’ve always wondered what people do with all that free time, after they’ve shortened the word “later” to l8r. Must be a luxury, having all that time, right? Saving a few characters can come at the cost of credibility.
The next message you get from her, reply saying that you don’t speak ’90s tween fluently. Just kidding. Sort of.
But really, it’s not your problem to sweat. Maybe this is her way of finding efficiencies, wherever she can find them, which is her prerogative, especially in convos (see what I did there?) between friends.
That said, if she asks you to take a look at her resumé and you see similarly abbreviated words, then offer to edit it for her using grownup language. Then perhaps use that as an opportunity to talk about the impression she gives. I’m trying not to embarrass my teen. Should I follow her on social media, or not? Of course! Why not follow each other? You might learn more about her by seeing what she posts and comments on — not in a hovering way, but in the true sense of getting to know her. What are she and her friends up to? Where’s that cute restaurant they are at and was it any good? This is awesome!
You might also have a chat about commenting on her content, just some discussion and agreement on what is cool for you to comment on or tag her in. This will give her some assurance that you won’t embarrass her (if that’s even a concern she has at all) and you get to stay a bit closer to what is going on in her life.
What is Instaspamming? Instaspamming is the annoying act of firing off a series of posts within quick succession. How many? Well, it’s more of an art than a science of annoyance, but you’ll know when you’re on the receiving end of Instaspamming because it will dom- inate your feed. If you are doing something that you simply can’t capture enough of, don’t go overboard. Post one (OK, two max) photos from whatever splendour you are witnessing, then stop posting.
You can always post a great shot later, labelled #latergram or post it as a #fbf (flashback Friday) or #tbt (throwback Thursday). Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Send her your questions: karen@mannersaresexy.com