Maddie and Elliot
Maddie is 29, lives in the Junction and works in manufacturing. She says “My style is low-maintenance, but not sloppy. Picture Amy Schumer but brunette, with glasses and bangs. My appearance attracts a lot of ‘nice guys’ because I’m approachable, but I tend to go for jerky nerds.” Maddie is “generous, fun, a ‘connector’ and an organizer.” She plays rec-league sports and likes to host parties. Maddie says “I used to try fun activities on dates, like bowling or axe throwing, but now I’m more of a ‘let’s grab a drink’ kind of girl. I just want to cut through the crap.” Maddie adds “There are three phases to my dating life: First, swiping on dating apps but not meeting anyone. Second, going on a lot of online dates. Third, losing all interest in dating and taking a break from the whole thing. Then I start again.”
I met Elliot online. He seemed really decent. I like when guys make jokes in their profiles, and he had a couple of good one-liners.
He had been in a long relationship before, so I figured he wasn’t commitment-phobic. We had some good banter over text, and he seemed to be pretty funny and sweet. Also, easy on the eyes.
After texting back and forth a bit, Elliot offered to take me out to dinner and to see an improv comedy show.
This sounded good to me, but one of the comedians in the show that Elliot suggested was actually a guy I dated for a few months, until he ghosted me. I was still really into him, and I was checking his Instagram, Twitter and Facebook almost every day, waiting for a text that never came.
Did this stop me from agreeing to see his improv show with a different guy? Of course not! I thought that maybe Improv Guy would see me in the crowd with someone else and get jealous. I said yes.
Elliot and I planned to have dinner first, before the show. I find that waiting for the other person to get there is the most nerve-wracking part of the whole dating process. I always feel the urge to cancel leading up to a date.
We waved as Elliot crossed the street to meet me. He seemed nervous, and it came out later that this was his first online date.
We had a pretty good vibe going right away, and the conversation flowed nicely. Elliot talked a lot for the first little bit. We had a lot of things in common. We had similar upbringings, we both liked the same TV shows and we shared opinions on current events.
When we differed, I felt comfort- able teasing him, and he teased right back. Not everyone can laugh at themselves, but to me it’s pretty important. I felt super relaxed.
The one negative thing I noticed was that Elliot didn’t have too many passions. He seemed motivated in his job, but he “used to be” into a lot of things, and he wanted to “get into” some different hobbies, but it didn’t seem like he had much going on outside of work. It was a bit of a yellow flag for me. I paid for the meal since he was getting the tickets for the show. I like to keep things even.
On our walk to the improv theatre, Elliot talked about why things didn’t work out with his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t really mind the ex talk, as I was a bit beer-buzzed at that point, and because if anything it made Elliot slightly more attractive that he was able to keep a steady relationship going for so long.
However, once the show started, any feelings I was forming for Elliot were washed away. I was instantly back to crushing on Improv Guy. He was amazing in the show, and made Elliot laugh pretty hard. He absolutely did not see me in the audience, though, because we were pretty far back.
At one point, the weirdness of the situation started to hit me, and I spent a while reflecting on what kind of person I had become.
I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to go to the show in the first place — nothing good was going to come out of it.
After, Elliot walked me home and said he’d like to do it again sometime. I said that I’d like that, too.
The next day I texted him a standard “rejection text” I keep saved in my phone, letting him down easy. Even though he was a good guy, Elliot couldn’t hold a candle to the charisma of Improv Guy.
Maddie rates her date (out of 10): 5