Plastic-kneed jeans take mom fashion to new low
‘Off-duty styling never looked so good,’ the lying description of the panelled pants reads
When I first became a mom and started stockpiling manuals like winter provisions for the dark, bewildering days ahead (The baby! It cries again! Grab the Weissbluth!), I noticed an inordinate amount of advice centred around burp cloths and their indispensability.
When my maternity leave ended, cheerful working-mom blogs warned of a common fate that might befall me: oatmeal on the shoulder. (Or spit-up on the shoulder. The stories varied.) “Always check a mirror before meetings!” they implored.
Apparently, I thought, being a mom is largely about wiping things off your clothes. (Turns out it’s not.)
Topshop has now taken this assumption to a new low with clear- panel mom jeans, $95 jeans with a high waist, tapered leg, multiple pockets and CLEAR PLASTIC PANELS COVERING YOUR KNEES.
“Off-duty styling never looked so good,” the product description reads. The product description is lying. I encourage you to type “clear panel mom jeans” into Twitter to check some of the more hilarious reactions, but I’ll warn you: The Internet will respond by placing ads for clear panel mom jeans along the side of every site you visit for the next few days.
Nordstrom sells the jeans online (“slick plastic panels bare your knees for a futuristic feel”), and the reviews are priceless.
“I’m very forgetful, so when I saw these I immediately knew they could help me stay organized. I use washable markers and write reminders and my grocery list on the seethrough inserts. For extra style, I use different colours and draw flowers. Then when my tasks are done, I wipe them clean and start over!”