TAKE A WALK ON THE MILD SIDE
Why Ryan Seacrest is the perfect co-host for Kelly Ripa in the morning.
Sometimes the safest choice is the best choice.
This is true for family sedans, parachutes, online passwords, bike helmets, surgeons, cold food storage, airlines and whoever was destined to become Kelly Ripa’s permanent co-host.
After the scorching drama from a year ago — when former co-host Michael Strahan bolted to Good Morning America and Ripa seemed on the verge of a hunger strike to protest the way it all went down — Live has teetered in a strange state of TV limbo, trying out many guest hosts while never committing to one.
This changed on Monday. Ryan Seacrest, who needs another gig the way most of us need another foot, has expanded his bicoastal conquest of Hollywood. Donald Trump should build a wall around this guy’s L.A. mansion because Seacrest is either on a mission to steal every showbiz job or he’s part of a topsecret cloning program in which a foreign government is trying to infiltrate the entertainment industry.
It’s like there are many Ryan Seacrests out there — TV producer, red carpet tour guide, New Year’s Eve emcee, radio host, menswear impresario — and now another Ryan Seacrest is storming morning television.
The chemistry between Ripa and Seacrest on Monday, Day 1 of what is now officially the Live with Kelly and Ryan era, was interesting in that there was no real chemistry.
They looked like an emotionally distant couple at a garden party in the Hamptons, where he’d cheerfully hold her champagne flute if she went to the lavatory or remove his linen blazer to drape around her shoulders should it get nippy.
He is there to service her needs with chivalry and without selfinterest.
As such, Seacrest came across as eager to please his new co-host and new audience. Ripa came across as relieved her new co-host doesn’t need a new audience, which fundamentally impacts three nagging concerns execs undoubtedly weighed during this talent search after the Strahan fiasco: 1. As we learned from American Idol, Seacrest is comfortable sharing a stage and even lurking in the background. So he won’t hog the spot- light.
2. He won’t quit a year from now or maybe ever because Seacrest does not quit anything. So there will be internal stability.
3. He won’t cause behind-thescenes friction because Seacrest is way too busy for internecine warfare. So there will be no more nasty gossip in the tabloids.
These three points more or less answer all of the questions on Monday from those who wondered if Seacrest was “too boring” or “too predictable a choice.” Yes and yes. But at this point for Live, these are assets.
Morning television, unlike other genres, does not benefit from controversy.
This is why when shows such as The View experiment with more radical opinion-slingers, these cohosts invariably crash-and-burn by alienating viewers, colleagues or both.
Morning television is a gateway into the day. It is not a time to reflect on what just happened with cuttingedge snark.
It caters to often groggy consumers who want a break from hard news, an escape from the frantic rhythms of modern media, which is why the interviews tend to be banal and the headline-grabbing quotes are rare.
Ripa and Seacrest’s first interview with Chris Pratt was no exception.
Morning television is a sip of coffee. It is not a shot of tequila.
Seacrest is the human equivalent of a pot of medium-roast java, brewed the same way each and every time.
He’s never bitter. You always know what you’re going to get. He becomes part of the routine.
There are no Seacrest scandals. How many times has an anonymous former colleague come forward to say he is a diva or a troublemaker or the architect of some swirling dysfunction?
How many people have strong feelings about him at all?
If someone told you Seacrest was actually a cyborg, you’d nod and say, “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
He could get a travelling job performing for violent dictators by juggling the body parts of endangered animals and the free world would collectively shrug because this would somehow come across as both earnest and blasé.
I hope this doesn’t sound like criticism. It’s not. Seacrest is very good at his many jobs because he’s smart enough to check his ego by always keeping his eye on the cheque. He’s ambitious and driven, but there is never any collateral damage.
So for a show like Live, which was rocked by the blasts of negative PR after Strahan’s botched exit a year ago, Seacrest is the perfect choice because he is the safest choice.
He’ll fit right in by never standing out. vmenon@thestar.ca