The tough job of raising a child as a working, travelling artist
When you think of parents who work in show business, it’s likely a fairly glamorous picture comes to mind: the celebrity mom captured in Us Weekly ducking out of her Tribeca loft in an artfully casual outfit, adorable toddler on the hip and nary a hair out of place. Movie-star parents descending the stairs of their private planes, trailing kids and nannies. Pop star moms launching clothing lines.
But just outside of that Hollywood 1 per cent is the world of working actors and musicians grinding it out through rehearsals and on bus tours, taking work when they have it, hustling to auditions when they don’t and managing child care without a relay team of nannies.
That’s certainly the case for Moya O’Connell, a Shaw Festival ensemble member in her ninth season in Niagaraon-the-Lake, and her husband, Torquil Campbell of the Montreal-based band Stars, himself a longtime actor.
The two are bringing up 8-year-old Ellington between O’Connell’s festival season and Campbell’s concert tours.
Their family splits time between Vancouver and Niagara-on-the-Lake, a logistically-tricky but colourful life where both big city and small town are home. Ellington goes to school in two places, her teachers in each school trading information and report cards to smooth the transitions.
The key to making it work? “We rely on our community a lot,” O’Connell says. “We have the luxury of extended family. Torque’s mom lives in Niagara-on thelake. She’s helped raise Ellington while I’ve worked.”
When Campbell works, he works away from home, O’Connell says. “But when he isn’t working he’s here full-time. It goes from zero to 100.”
Working atypical hours — and the ease of getting around a small place such as Niagara-on-the-Lake — allows O’Connell, too, some flexibility. She spends mornings with her daughter, and also makes it home for dinner between afternoon and evening performances.
“One of the hardest things is not being able to put Ellington to bed at night on a regular basis, but it’s all a balance. In the winters I have time off to luxuriate in being off.”
During those mild Vancouver winters, O’Connell takes jobs in television and film and does some theatre work as well, but it’s usually not as intensive as her time at Shaw, where this year she’ll appear in productions of Middletown and Dracula.
But when a good opportunity to comes along, occasionally O’Connell will take a gig away from either of her hometowns, somewhere such as Toronto’s Crow’s Theatre.
“That’s when you beg your in-laws and there’s a lot of FaceTiming and tears.”
But O’Connell says there’s tremendous upside, too.
“One of the nicest things for Ellie is being able to grow up in the theatre,” O’Connell says. “She gets a great thrill out of being a part of our professional lives. She loves being able to go to the shows, and eating in the green room, and just knowing everyone.” When mom and daughter join dad on tour with Stars, Ellington pals around with bandmate Amy Millan’s daughter, Delphine.
And trading a big city for a small town half the year means Ellington “goes into the shops and everyone knows her name.”
Toronto dad Christopher Ryan was a professional singer for more than 20 years before the balance with parenthood got to be too much.
Ryan worked at the Edmonton Opera, Manitoba Opera and National Arts Centre among others in productions such as The Barber of Seville, Carmina Burana and Les Miserables.
Although he’s taught throughout his career, helping others to be successful on the stage is now Ryan’s main professional focus through his business as a voice coach.
“The year I decided to leave performing as my primary focus, I was on the road 250 days in a year,” Ryan says. “To be honest, I got sick of seeing my kids through a webcam and decided that I had done enough as a performer and was ready for my next thing.”
That was five years ago when his kids, Samuel and Audrey, were 11 and 8 years old, respectively.
His kids, now in their teens, “are the greatest productions I will ever be a part of.”