Invited to a cottage? Don’t be a nightmare houseguest
Be sure to bring a nice gift, clean up after yourself and express gratitude to the host
The arrival of summer marks the beginning of houseguest season.
Whether you have a private bedroom and bath or you’re sharing a wobbly futon with a cat, being a gracious guest is the key to a good experience for all.
Good hosts make good guests. Take Nick Voulgaris, an author who also owns a Long Island farm. He recently published The Seaside House, Living on the Water, which chronicles vacation homes from Provincetown, Mass., to Malibu, Calif. Voulgaris is a frequent houseguest and often hosts friends overnight at his places in New York’s West Village, Huntington and Shelter Island.
“To me, the perfect houseguest is someone that just starts to pitch in and help without asking,” Voulgaris says.
Here are more ideas on the art of being a good guest. Bring a nice gift: The best things to buy are food, entertaining supplies, flowers or wine. Voulgaris suggests fresh baked goods such as a pie. A luxurious scented candle is also one of his go-to gift choices. I try to spot something the house could need, whether steak knives or a new toaster, so next year when I come back, I can bring that for a present. Keep the bathroom clean and cleared: Many weekend houses have shared baths. Voulgaris says it’s appreciated if you hang the bath mat over the shower or tub after using it, wipe off any water you’ve splashed on the floor and clean out the sink so the next guest can have a pleasant experience. Remove any soap scum or hair from the shower drain. Ask where you should hang your wet towels. Keep your grooming products in your bedroom, not scattered around the bathroom. Help with chores: Don’t sit there and expect to be served as if you’re at a restaurant. Hosts appreciate you clearing plates from the table, emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash and stripping the bed when you leave. Set up the coffee for the next day. Or go a bit further. My husband meticulously cleaned a large outdoor grill for friends who had invited us to the Eastern Shore; I worked with my hostess to help reorganize the kitchen counters. Don’t sneer at the microwave bacon: When you’re a guest, you get to know your hosts on a different level. They may not buy the same kinds of foods as you do. So if they stock only skim milk for coffee and you want half and half, just go with it or bring your own. If they use bottled salad dressing and you make yours from scratch, don’t comment. Just be grateful you’re getting a homecooked breakfast. Leave nothing behind: No host wants to run a lost-and-found. Guests should do a final inspection of their bedroom and bath to search for stray items. Check outlets for phone chargers, the back of the bathroom door for bathrobes and the shower stall for shampoos and conditioners. Give thanks. Often: Say thank you after every meal. When you leave, be enthusiastic about the effort your host has gone to create a wonderful time. Voulgaris says a group text is often formed before a weekend away to share information between hosts and guests. On the evening you depart, send out another quick text of thanks to the group. Within a few days, a handwritten note is a beautiful gesture that just might put you on the A-list for the next gathering.