UNCENSORED

People say it more as death draws near

“My wife finally said she’s in love with me. I’m very excited.” STEVE CARELL, on going grey

Another ex-child star gone utterly mad

“Sometimes I don’t use my blinker. I’m wild!” FRED SAVAGE

When casting agents are too nice to tell you that you suck

“People don’t want to work with me because my boobs are too big.” EMILY RATAJKOWSKI

Note: she’s talking about babies, not baby daddies

“Five is too many. I’d have to get a minivan for sure, and I’m not riding in no minivan.” BLAC CHYNA