What’s the official rule about shoes?
Reader asks about etiquette at house parties, so let’s settle the debate once and for all
Do shoes stay on or come off for house parties?
I hope to finally lay this age-old debate to rest. The official, unequivocal answer to this is: whatever your host prefers. If your host wants you to take your shoes off, they come off. It doesn’t matter if your outfit is better with your shoes. Get a pedicure, bring socks, slippers or whatever else you need to be at peace with this.
If you’re unclear on your host’s position on the matter, look at their feet for signs of shoes and for a lot of guests’ shoes at the front door.
If you’re a host and you’re reading this thinking “finally — now, how can I get people to take off their shoes without sounding like a neat freak?”
Answer the door without shoes on and strategically place a few pair of shoes at the front door to give a hint. My colleague and I always share an Uber home from work and they never offer to place the order, so I always end up footing the bill. What can I do to make it more fair?
I’ve been there! Is there an assumption that because you offer to order the Uber that you’re paying for it? I hope not. The next time you share a ride with your colleague, you can either ask them to pick up the next one ( just literally suggest it, “I’ll get this one, you get the next one?”) or you can do a fare split in the actual Uber app. It’s really easy.
Your Uber rolls up and you and your colleague get in. You say, “have you seen the new fare share function?” Assuming they’ll say no, you can enthusiastically demonstrate how it works. Swipe up from the bottom of the app and tap your payment method, then tap “Split Fare.” Then, you just enter their phone number. That said, they need to actually accept the fare split, but let’s hope they do. Agroup of friends gets together once a month for dinner, we take turns making a reservation (usually using OpenTable or something). One friend did a reply-all email asking if someone could book a later table. I felt like it was lazy of her, am I being too harsh?
Your question gave me pause. I tried to think about whether my feelings would change on this if it were the days before OpenTable and the like. If I couldn’t make a suggested reservation time, I’d do some recon with the restaurant (or another restaurant) to see what other times are open.
If your friend has been part of this long-standing monthly dinner and can fire off an email, am I right to assume that she could also open up an app to look at alternative times or places to eat? I don’t know whether I’d call her lazy, but her reply wasn’t terribly helpful, since she’s essentially just asking other people what she could for herself. Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Email her your questions: Karen@mannersaresexy.com.