CITATION PLEASE

Who said what this week

“She kept saying she’s an assistant DA and said, ‘Who are they gonna believe: you or me?’ And I said, ‘You know what, you’re kind of right.’ So I took out my phone and I recorded it.”

Uber driver Shaun Platt on an intoxicated tirade from passenger Jody Warner, who was later fired from her job in Dallas.

“What does Ali Velshi’s background have to do with dating children . . . Ali’s from Canada?”

MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle interjects on behalf of co-host Ali Velshi after Roy Moore’s attorney suggests Velshi’s “background” could help him understand why the Republican nominee would date minors.

“He should know that he is just a hideous criminal sentenced to death by the Korean people.”

North Korea’s state media responds to Donald Trump’s trip to Asia and his insults of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

“Can you not?”

New York subway passenger

James Michael Angelo, not recognizing seatmate LeBron James, gains viral video fame for rebuffing the Cavaliers star, who was taping his teammates’ ride on the train.

“We will have the gumbo ready for him when he gets out.”

Wajeedah Jones on her uncle Wilbert Jones, whose conviction nearly 50 years ago on kidnapping and rape charges was overturned by a Louisiana judge who called the case “weak at best.”

“I had read Tarzan and fallen in love, although he married the wrong Jane.”

British primatologist Jane Goodall on how she grew up knowing she wanted to live with wild animals and write about them.