Seniors of sound minds earned right to live how they want

Many older seniors decide that their goal is not particularly to extend their days, but fill them with joy

At what age should a senior citizen just quit taking pills and start eating a chocolate bar and beer for breakfast, an ice cream cone and beer for lunch, a butter tart and beer for supper and a handful of jelly beans (washed down with a beer) for a midnight snack? Or should we be very mindful of our diet, taking our daily allotment of pills without fail, even at age 90, until we get to the undertaker? I need some advice real quick as I am 85, eating a chocolate bar right now — and there are jelly beans somewhere in this house. When my dad was 80, he had a heart attack. Before his release from hospital, a young dietitian was dispatched to discuss modifying his diet to fortify his bruised ticker. She was probably 23 years old; to my dad, she looked 12.

“Mr. Gallinger,” she said, “I want to talk about what you should eat when you get home.”

My dad, by then a widower, had lived his whole life on fried foods, rye and Coke. “Young lady,” he said, “I’m 80 years old. I’ll eat and drink whatever the hell I like.”

She smiled sweetly and said, “Good for you. I hope I live as long and well as you have.” She shook his hand and left the room.

She was one of the top-10 smartest people I’ve ever met. Dad remarried a wonderful woman, travelled the world and lived to 92.

I can’t recommend a diet of beer and jelly beans and you’re not seriously advocating it, either. Everyone knows beer goes better with pretzels.

But here’s the thing: People in the late stages of terminal illness often face decisions balancing quality of life with length of days. Chemotherapy vs. cruising. Quinoa vs. T-bone. Sex vs. sleep. And, as a society, we cheer for those who are “brave enough” to choose abundance of life over mere extension of time.

What we tend to forget, however, is that life itself is a terminal illness and by the time folks get into their 80s and 90s, they are in the latter stages.

None of us is getting out of here alive, and by the time you’ve passed three score years and 10, it can feel like that applies to getting out of bed every morning, never mind the larger journey of life. It’s not surprising, therefore, that many older seniors decide that their goal is not particularly to extend their days, but rather, to fill whatever they have with adventure, memories and joy.

Families sometimes don’t understand. Kids discourage elder parents from travel (“what if they get sick in Cuba?”), meanwhile stuffing them with Ensure, trucking them from doctor to doctor and hiring a nurse to be sure they take their damned pills.

Ethically, however, we need to recognize that, so long as they are sound of mind, even the most aged among us have the absolute right to decide how they want to play out their life’s drama. If this means replacing statins with pizza, so be it.

Beer and jelly beans at midnight sounds like a really bad idea. But it’s bad nutritionally, not ethically. A shot of Irish whiskey or a pot brownie may be a better choice. Send your questions to star.ethics@yahoo.ca