ABBA has answered the world’s S.O.S.
ABBA is releasing new music and the world is a better place.
On Friday morning, amid a sudden burst of happy news from around the globe — “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to announce that they have named their son Louis Arthur Charles,” “North and South Korea vow to end the Korean War in historic accord,” “Bill Cosby found guilty of sexual assault” — the biggest jolt of pure delight came from Stockholm.
What? Are you kidding? ABBA has recorded two new songs?
I haven’t been this overjoyed since my kids were born.
The first track, the aptly named “I Still Have Faith in You,” is due in December. NBC and the BBC will broadcast the song as part of ABBA’s upcoming virtual tour, one that stars hologram versions of the band’s founding members.
“The decision to go ahead with the exciting ABBA avatar tour project had an unexpected consequence,” the real members said in a statement Friday. “We all four felt that, after some 35 years, it could be fun to join forces again and go into the recording studio. So we did. And it was like time had stood still and that we only had been away on a short holiday. An extremely joyful experience!”
For them and, eight months from now, for us.
Stop. No, no. Don’t even think about getting cynical in the face of this glorious news. This divided world needs ABBA more than ever.
All these years later, the pop group still has the ability to slice across demos and unite people from all walks of life inside a thumping cocoon of sonic warmth.
To hear an ABBA song is to tap your foot and shake off your troubles.
ABBA is the soundtrack to coming together and forgetting our differences.
You know why you’ve never met anyone who absolutely hates ABBA? Trick question: It’s impossible to absolutely hate ABBA. It can’t be done. With their ridiculously catchy melodies, hypnotic chordchanges, timeless beats, soothing harmonies and universal lyrics, the group has transcended time and place.
I have heard ABBA songs in Barcelona cafes and Jaipur hotels. I have heard ABBA songs in German train stations and Mexican airports. I have heard ABBA songs at proms, birthday parties, weddings and every other ritualized celebration we soppy humans are hardwired to enjoy when we let our guards down.
In fact, not hearing an ABBA song is a great way to realize you’re not supposed to be in a festive mood. Visit a Service Ontario outpost and you’ll never hear “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” Get stuck in the hell of a customer service phone queue and the hold music will never include “S.O.S.” or “Chiquitita,” even if you’re calling Chiquita with a banana emergency.
Which is crazy because ABBA is musical Prozac. It lifts our spirits.
From road trips to doing the dishes, there is nothing ABBA can’t make better.
If you’ve never felt the blinding urge to jump up and dance upon hearing the first cascading bar of “Dancing Queen,” you may be dead inside. If you’ve never cranked up the volume when “Super Trouper” unexpectedly rumbled to life, you don’t know what it’s like to get truly lost in a moment of sheer musical bliss.
About 46 years after they formed in the glittering disco era of platform shoes and wide collars, that’s what ABBA is still about.
This bubblegum pop sticks to our ears because it remains, first and foremost, about feeling good. And feeling good is no easy thing these days.
We may disagree over politics, religion, culture, society and Kanye West, but start playing “Waterloo” or “Mamma Mia” and watch as the discord morphs into an impromptu dance party. You can be poor and still gleefully belt out “Money, Money, Money.” Even a loser like me can appreciate “The Winner Takes It All.”
Thank you for the music, ABBA, and for knowing me, knowing you.
“We may have come of age, but the song is new,” the band said on Friday, in a statement that should have come from the UN. “And it feels good.”
It does. But why stop at two new songs? Since winning the Eurovision Song Contest in 1974, ABBA has always been greater than the sum of its Swedish parts.
The four members, whose names still sound suspiciously like Ikea test products — Agnetha Fältskog, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson, Anni-Frid Lyngstad — should stay in the studio and keep making new music.
What’s the name of the game? Does it mean anything to you?
Exactly. Now that you’re back, ABBA, we need you to stick around.