How we got into this messy toilet situation

Public washrooms are a fraught subject now, as opposed to being something no one bothered to mention. Now everyone wants in. Who should use them? How should one dress? Should they be attractive places or provincial park-level repellent? In an age of rage, toilet fights are as common as American school shootings, with video surveillance offering appalling sights. (Here’s how to walk in off the street and gain entry to a Paris bistro toilet: act like you don’t need one. “Ce n’est pas grave.” Shrug.

Retail staff, now endangered themselves, see the worst in people. That young man behind the counter in the Langley, B.C., Tim Hortons, hit with personal excrement thrown by a previously disruptive customer who wanted toilet access, deserves a year off for post-traumatic stress. Not the disorder, just a normal response to horror. I mean, the IRA used to do that in prison.

There is an economic pattern here and I shall trace it.

There are almost no Toronto public washrooms left. They require maintenance through public money, as do water fountains, so instead plastic water bottles leak into the oceans and TTC riders hope they’ll make it to the end of the line. It is economist John Kenneth Galbraith’s “private affluence and public squalor” come to life.

Things we once took for granted are considered extras now. Take passports. The Globe and Mail reports that passports have become a billion-dollar money source since the Harper government raised fees. Passports are a public good now treated like a checked bag fee on an airline ticket.

Many citizens cannot afford a passport now, especially if they have a large family. But the passport office is expected to be self-sustaining—with all its funds coming from fees — just as the post office is expected to make a profit.

But why should basic services — toilets, water, passports and even highways — be self-sustaining? The first two have been reduced to coffee shops and water bottles, and the last two divide Canadians into classes, those who can afford a 10-year passport and those who can afford a five-year. Can you afford tolls on the 407 ETR?

And now we’ll look at why public services have been segmented this way. It’s a divide and conquer strategy.

Take airline passengers. They worship the god of cheap and always choose the lowest airfare. Then they complain that they’re charged for add-ons: checked bags, seat selection, blankets, booze, extra leg room. This isn’t done to make more money, it’s done to make the fare price palatable for those who can’t add. The final ticket price, not all-inclusive like Expedia’s, will be granular in its details and higher than you’d thought.

If every airline offered an all-inclusive fare, this would disappear. Instead, airlines race to the bottom, like a menu where your entrée is meat, and steamed spinach or fries are considered side dishes. The meal will be more expensive than you thought.

It’s the only way to manage expectations. But shouldn’t your expectations be reality-based? Sorry, that’s a Trumpish word. Shouldn’t they be accurate?

If you call an ambulance, you’ll be billed $45. Break a leg, you’ll pay for crutches even though casts and crutches go together like a horse and carriage. If you don’t pay? You’ll reach the hospital exit in a free wheelchair. Suddenly you’re on your own.

All these things are done because generations have been trained by the right wing to hate taxes. If taxes were raised, public services would be made whole, not granular and fee-laden.

Taxes are easily the least painful way for us to get the shared things we need for free, partly because we don’t like wasting government money. Canadians would rather pull their own teeth than call an ambulance. We minimize our grinding wrenching pain and apologize to the attendants. We would never call the cops on someone we consider out of place—in the U.S., this would be a black person—because the police have better things to do.

We used to be citizens but we’re becoming one-person failing small businesses doing precarious work for the rich and paying for every little thing. Please tax us more. I don’t want more choice, I just want nicer things.