As taboos fade, weddings change
To get to the Emarat wedding hall, you have to drive outside Tehran and into the countryside, down a series of rural roads until you reach an entrance marked only by a number. There, a security guard checks your name off a list and directs you to a parking lot screened from the road.
The party, celebrating the wedding of Amir Hashemi and Melina Hashemi, is well underway. Men in tuxedos and women in revealing dresses with costume jewelry in their immaculately coifed hair have hit the dance floor for a favourite tune, the pop classic “The Pretty Ones Have to Dance,” by the exiled Iranian singer Andy. Couples at the tables enjoy small talk as some sip from small plastic water bottles.
In short, besides the remote location, nothing out of the ordinary for an upscale western wedding reception. But in this case, the attendees are violating no fewer than six of the fundamental laws governing personal behaviour in the Islamic Republic: mixing of the sexes; women baring flesh and failing to wear head scarves; dancing; playing pop music; and consuming alcohol (in the vodka-laced drinks in the water bottles).
In another era, all these violations would be punishable with a lashing or jail sentences. Some, such as failing to wear the head scarf and drinking alcohol, still are.
When millions joined the clerical-led revolution that ousted the western-backed Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi in 1979, strict Islamic laws had widespread public support as a preparation for the afterlife. But not too many years later, the consensus began breaking down, and Iran’s clerical government and the increasingly modern society it leads have been engaged in a tug of war ever since.
Despite monopolizing Iran’s politics, the educational system, the courts, the security forces and most news media outlets, Iran’s conservative leaders have long been in retreat.
While the laws are rarely changed, the flagging public support makes enforcement of the rules increasingly complex, with many former taboos now tolerated by society.
The decade-long game of push and pull between society and the state is growing tiresome for many people. Sure, they are pleased with the freedoms they had wrested from the state, said Hojat Kalashi, a sociologist, but what do those mean when you can still be arrested at a mixed wedding party?
“We are changing non-stop, but the ruling establishment has no theory or vision how to run the country,” he said. “What is clear is that this conflict between gradual changing society and rigid laws cannot go on forever.”