STATUS UPDATES

A week in which a girl catches a piranha’s cousin and a crested lark scuttles a nude beach

BLISSFULLY IGNORANT

An 11-year-old girl fishing in Oklahoma. In Fort Cobb Lake she managed to catch a pacu, a piranha relative native to South America. The fish has humanlike teeth. Kennedy Smith said she was shocked when the fish bit her grandmother who removed the hook from its mouth.

DROPPED

A bid to split California into three states. Billionaire Tim Draper said the fight has become pointless after the state’s top court removed the proposition from the November ballot. He wanted to create three entities because he says the state is “nearly ungovernable.”

PUNISHED

Egyptians who took to the streets for an online dance challenge. People responded to the “Kiki challenge” by dancing to Drake’s “In My Feelings.” Now they face penalties over allegations they endangered lives and violated public decency. The dance involves getting out of cars and dancing beside them.

WITH MALICE

The destruction of Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A man took a pickaxe to it at about 3 a.m. and later turned himself in to Los Angeles police. Private security tried to intervene but couldn’t stop him, said police spokesperson Karen Leong, because they don’t have police powers.

BLITZFULLY IGNORANT

Pennsylvania teacher Kevin Bean, 36, has been censured for his amateur wrestling hobby, wherein he masquerades as a Nazi. Bean, a.k.a. Blitzkrieg, the German Juggernaut, teaches grades 5 and 6. A video of him giving a Nazi salute caused a stir. His school is investigating.

FELLED

A woman in Maryland, by a beach umbrella. The flying parasol impaled the woman’s chest, but she was expected to make a full recovery. Disturbingly, it follows an episode last week in which a British woman had her leg pierced by a flying parasol on a beach in New Jersey.

SPARED

A woman who left a loaded gun on a baby-changing table (at least of serious charges). It occurred in the bathroom of a Salt Lake City aquarium. Police say she put the .380-calibre pistol on the folded-up table to use the bathroom, but was distracted by her kids on the way out.

FOR A LARK

The scuppering of plans for Belgium’s second nude beach. The Flemish Wildlife Agency helped stop a bid to set up a nude beach in Westende, the Daily Express reports. The group informed the environment minister that “subsidiary” sexual activity in the dunes could damage the dunes and spook crested larks.