BORED GAMES
Professed passion for life found on dating profile didn’t match the reality
Game night falls flat as date fails to live up to his passionate profile,
Madeline is a 25-year-old student who lives in the west end. She says, “I wear all black all the time, fitted to my curves. My look is edgy. Minimal accessories. Unless it’s hot out, I wear boots.” Madeline’s friends and family would say she is “humble, hardworking, liberal, upbeat but quiet and sardonic.” She says, “My best friend and I like to pop down to Vegandale to try something new.” She also likes to “hang out with my friends so we can share our sad dating stories.” Madeline says, “I’ve never had a longterm relationship, just a string of one-month gigs. Either I lose interest, or they do, rather quickly, which is likely the product of my generation’s mindset on love and life.”
I met Tristan on a dating site. I liked that he seemed passionate about his work, had a few solid hobbies — triathlons; a trivia team — and seemed to be the “cute nerd” type. He wasn’t necessarily my type of guy, but I thought I might have luck with someone like him. I wanted to go out with someone different than the type of guy I usually attract online, who are mostly muscle-y guys who are only interested in my body.
We decided to go to a boardgame café, which sounded like a good idea to me. If there was nothing to talk about, or if things were awkward, we could always put our focus on the games.
He texted me that he was going to be a few minutes late, so I waited in a Starbucks. I was annoyed because he’d only texted me once saying he’d be a few minutes late, but arrived an hour later. I wasn’t attracted to him. He was tallish, lanky and had a generic personal style.
He apologized and was flustered and told me he’d had a family obligation that had run over. The way he apologized was like he was blaming what had happened on other people. He should have said something like, “I’m sorry for making you wait.” He should have owned up to it.
At the café, he seemed awkward and disconnected, which made me feel uncomfortable. I think I overcompensated by fake-laughing too much. To be fair, this is more of a problem on my part. I think I come across as closed off sometimes, so I overcompensate by being really smiley, and I try to laugh at any attempt at a joke.
We ordered drinks, but no food. I didn’t want to spend money because I knew the whole thing wasn’t promising. He ordered an herbal tea, which turned me off for some reason. Again, this is on me, it’s an unfair judgment.
Tristan basically talked for the whole date about himself, but the conversation was stilted because he didn’t bring me into the conversation. I had to ask him everything: about his job, his passions, his family, his friends, his travels. Sometimes he would throw in a “How about you?” but that was only when I had already established the topic.
At the time of the date, I was in the middle of a huge project for school, but when I told him that, he didn’t ask anything about it.
It was exhausting, really. I couldn’t tell if he just wasn’t interested in me, or was a horrible conversationalist.
I also noticed that he seemed unhappy or disinterested in general. He had seemed so passionate about what he had going on in his life on his dating profile, but he was really negative about a lot of things in per- son. He was egotistical and argumentative, but also somehow complacent. He wasn’t a good sport, either. He only lost one game, but he had sort of a babyish attitude about it. I would have been happier playing board games solo.
We waved goodbye and parted ways at a subway station.
I initially thought that I might have come off as cold, so I actually texted him after, saying thanks, since he paid for our drinks. He didn’t respond.
Madeline rates her date (out of 10): 3
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