> OFF THE RACK

LIFE & STYLE

Cover: Bored with the usual “Brad and Jen are back together and Angie is jealous” storyline, Life & Style reports Angelina Jolie is stepping out with Jen’s ex, Justin Theroux and Jen is devastated. Two roads diverged in a wood, and Life & Style took the one less traveled by and it has not made any difference. New man: Jennifer Garner’s friends are worried that her new man is still married. Sure, but he’s also still not Ben Affleck. So points in his favour for that.

IN TOUCH

Cover: Demonstrating how little they know about the monarchy and rules of succession, In Touch has crowned Kate Middleton the new queen. Oh, and, uh, William can be king, I guess. Host with the least: A story on Megyn Kelly’s NBC woes calls her “TV’s most hated host.” That can’t be true! James Corden’s show is still on the air, right? Hey Joe: A feature called “Top 10 hottest Joes” does what it says on the tin. Joe Manganiello is, no duh, No. 1. Joseph GordonLevitt and Joe Jonas are gimmes and I’ll allow Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block as a deep cut. But you neglect my Criminal Minds boyfriend Joe Mantegna at your own peril!

OK!

Cover: OK! breathlessly reports Meghan and Harry are leaving the royals because Harry doesn’t want his child to end up like Diana. Cheer up, Harry. By the time your kid is old enough to be a paparazzi target, the monarchy won’t exist! But if you’re really worried, try the time-honoured Royal classic: locking your young in a tower. Mama drama: Despite an ugly custody battle with Brad Pitt over their six kids, Angelina wants to adopt again. Maddox and Pax are aging out of the family like Menudo, so it’s time for a new one! Good luck to whichever child claims the title of Xarelto Jolie. From Megyn to Kelly: The mag says NBC is replacing Megyn Kelly with Kelly Clarkson. If true, this feels like a desperate bid to save at least SOME money by keeping half the signage.