STAR

Cover: Star outed Dolly Parton as a lesbian six weeks ago — am I the only one who keeps records? — but it has now pivoted to a loving-but-distant-couple narrative, saying she and her husband just lead peaceably separative lives with no hint of the divorce rumoured on, er, on the cover of this week’s Star. They’ve seen peaceful growing apart with their own eyes, back when Pangaea broke up in their teens.

Same sex story: Now Demi Moore is dating a woman! For more, or possibly less, on this story, keeping reading Star.

Marital arts: A headline screams that Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn had an “epic fight”; I hope this isn’t true, but if it is, I hope it was just like the one at the end of Big Trouble in Little China.