It’s crazy, but I knew she was special right away
The moment Tate met Janine at a coffee shop, he was certain he wanted her in his life
Tate is a 47-year-old IT consultant who lives in the Fashion District. He says, “I live downtown and work in the suburbs, but I’m more comfortable on a farm, around dogs, cows and horses.” He says, “Business casual is my go-to. I like black.” Tate likes car racing, biking, gourmet restaurants and reading. He says, "I'm hard to get to know. I prefer animals to people." Tate says "I like to travel. I've been to the Arctic twice. I've hitchhiked a lot. I like fog and deso-late areas. I love sailing." Tate has been di-vorced for ten years and says "I'm a serial monogamist and I have three significant exec." I met Janine in a coffee shop. I caught her checking me out, and she caught me doing the same thing She was exactly my type, physically. I went over to where she was sitting to hit on her — but in a nice way. We had more than a great conversation. It quickly became obvious as we talked that she is smart, funny, self-deprecating and very confident. We talked for around an hour about the things estab-lished couples talk about work, hopes and dreams, experiences. I left first because I was the one who had invaded her space. I had her number and we had a date. I don't remember who asked whom, it was just very appar- ent we both wanted to go out Already, I knew I wanted her in my life. It was a kind of certainty, and I was thinking about how I might tell her without her thinking I was some kind of crazy stalker person. I told my go-to female friend I had met someone special, but I didn't tell her the whole story. Janine and I texted back and forth
trying to decide between different restos, like a Southern-style rib place or a French restaurant. We rejected a few options because we wanted to go somewhere we could talk.
Eventually I suggested a cool cocktail lounge that neither of us had to been before. We were both interested in a new adventure.
On the day of the date, Janine sent me a picture of her in her outfit, asking if it was OK. It was amazing.
We met up at my place beforehand, and hugged and kissed the moment she walked through the door. On the walk to the lounge, she took my hand. We were grinning and staring at each other with shining eyes. I was thinking about how to tell her I wanted to be immediately serious.
The bar was romantically dim and specialized in exotic cocktails that foamed and smoked. We hardly noticed. We only had eyes for each other, to such a degree that people at the next table were glancing over with amusement.
We discussed what we wanted to eat, and decided on some small nibbly things to share. Janine took charge and ordered it all for us. I liked that she had the confidence to do that. About halfway through dinner, Janine told me that she had kept her heart closed for a long time, but wanted to open it up to me. I told her that I felt like I wanted her in the rest of my life. We literally grinned at each other. We talked and decided we didn’t want to date. We decided we would immediately work on a serious relationship. We didn’t totally understand it, but there was a certainty and a commitment to it.
I don’t know what love at first sight is like, and I don’t think this is what we experienced. Obviously there was a huge connection going on, but “love at first sight” seems to mean going through infatuation for a few months, and then actually falling in love, and then discussing being serious. We skipped all that. We went directly past “go.”
We both freely admit this was crazy.
We went back to my place. I think she asked if we would see each other the next week.
Six months later, we’ve encountered some really bad stuff, but every problem and every minute has strengthened our bond.
We’re still grinning at each other and planning our future for the next 50 years.
Tate rates his date (out of 10): 10