Come back to Toronto, Harry and Meghan!
Meghan Markle’s fairy tale is turning into a treacherous family saga.
Make no mistake: about seven months after she married Prince Harry — and is now pregnant with their first child — the Duchess of Sussex is in the midst of a PR nightmare. Her old family, including two estranged half-siblings and father Thomas Markle, continue to publicly rail against her, portraying their former loved one as a vindictive social climber who shunned them after she married into royalty.
“I have been frozen out and I can’t stay silent,” Thomas Markle told the Daily Mail on Sunday, a brazen declaration from someone who shoots off his mouth more than Kanye West and Elon Musk combined. “I have made dozens of attempts to reach my daughter via text and letters, but she and Harry have put up a wall of silence …
“Everyone says, why don’t I just shut the f--k up? That Meghan can’t speak to me because I’ll give away secrets. But that’s bulls--t.”
Then to prove his trustworthiness — and demonstrate to Meghan why he is a reliable guardian of their life together — Thomas gave the paper old photos, cards and letters to publish. This is like applying for a pet sitter job with a video in which you lovingly strangle a kitten. If Meghan still refuses to speak to Thomas after Sunday, perhaps he can regain her trust by divulging her Visa number and medical records.
Did I mention sister Samantha, who previously compared Meghan to Donald Trump and anointed her the
“DuchASS,” is working on a tell-all book to be published in the spring, around the time the royal baby arrives? Having concluded they are now dead to Meghan, the family is motivated by character assassination. Meghan won’t let them back into her life, so they shall make her life miserable.
Meghan is no longer a blood relative: she is an outlaw in their hearts. Those distant memories, her exhausting relatives believe, are best repackaged as embarrassing taunts. They no longer see a sister and daughter; just a selfish monster who strategically scrubbed her past after seeing an exalted future in Harry’s eyes.
And it isn’t just her old family that is now a PR threat.
In recent days, the British press has foisted unflattering narratives into the ether: Meghan is feuding with Kate. Meghan is a Queen Diva. Nobody wants to work for Meghan. She’s nasty and demanding. William had his doubts about Meghan from the get-go, which is why the relationship between the brothers is strained.
Harry and Meghan are moving to Frogmore Cottage, away from Kensington Palace, to escape the suffocating protocols of royal existence. Meghan is breaking up the royal family with such diabolical speed, her name might as well be Yoko.
So in less than a year, Meghan went from doing no wrong to doing no right.
She went from saviour of the royal family to albatross around its neck.
And this is why Harry and Meghan should consider moving much farther away than Frogmore Cottage: they should resettle in Toronto for the rest of her pregnancy.
I’m not kidding. Meghan loved living here. This is where she thrived and came into her own. This is where the couple made their first public appearance.
But most important, Toronto could shield them from the swirling toxic circus in London by nurturing their souls and giving them a geographical safe space.
In Toronto, which is still technically a bastion of the Commonwealth realm, Meghan could come and go as she sees fit, free from the prying eyes of snickering royal watchers and those determined to cut her down to size.
There are no British paparazzi skulking outside the Whole Foods in Yorkville. There are no craven tipsters embedded in Rosedale yoga studios. She could eat on King West or go Christmas shopping at the Eaton Centre without generating a single negative headline. Hell, Harry and Meghan could rent out Casa Loma for six months and nobody would be the wiser. Ultimately, we just don’t care.
So she could be herself. And he could be free.
Right now, Meghan’s new and old families are coming together to exert great psychological duress on this still burgeoning relationship. Meghan, who was already dealing with the challenges of royal life — and now the physical demands of pregnancy — deserves better than to be a cartoon villain.
This should be the happiest time of her life. And a radical decision — moving to Toronto for a while — could make it so.