Romance and radicchio
To celebrate Valentine’s, three cool Toronto couples talk about love, life and their top date-night spots
THE COMMUNITY LEADERS Kristyn Wong-Tam and Farrah Khan Years together: Five Favourite date night restaurant: Wish Restaurant, 3 Charles St. E. Go-to order: Smashed avocado toast and crab cakes ORIGIN STORY Wong-Tam:“We met at a shoot for the Toronto Star’s ‘Ones to Watch For’ edition in 2011.”
Khan: “We didn't date for years — we would just see each other at events. But after her second election in 2014, Kris- tyn got a death threat and went on Metro Morning to talk about harassment. I sent her a text asking if she was OK. Then the Jian Ghomeshi story broke two weeks later, and Kristyn sent flowers to my office.”
Wong-Tam: “There was a connection, because we had orbited each other as activists for years, but neither of us had been in that head space.”
Khan: “We went out on our first formal date after the Ghomeshi trial. She picked me up in a car and everything. That was it — I knew she was the person I wanted to be with. She’s exceptional.”
Wong-Tam: “Farrah definitely arrived there first. I felt I was married to the city and felt that my first priority was my job.”
Khan: “And then six months later, Kristyn was like ‘We're going to get married.’” FINDING COMMUNITY
Khan: “As queers, there's the idea of scarcity in relationships and that we don't get to have love. To find Kristyn and her family has been such a gift. She strung 1,000 carnations into a flower wall with her family when we got married at the 519 Community Centre.” Wong-Tam: “I hand-made it with my mom and dad as a backdrop because Farrah wanted a flower wall.”
K1han:“One side of my family disowned me when I got married to Kristyn, but this community of family came through and made flower arrangements and calligraphy and helped set up.” NETFLIX AND CHILL Wong-Tam: “We always spend Friday night together. At the end of a long week, you need some time to actually hang out with your partner. Honestly, I didn't even know what my TV did until Farrah came into my life and introduced me to Netflix.”
Khan: “Now I put Spotify on her phone.” Wong-Tam: “I'm far more up on pop culture than I ever was. I'm still embedded in my work, and in my spare time, I'll read books on cities or urban planning, but we both love romcoms.”
Khan: “We loved Crazy Rich Asians this summer. Her wed- ding outfit made me rethink everything about my life. We just watched Bridget Jones’s Baby, which is preparing us for our own baby!” THE BON VIVANTS Ivy Lam, hair and makeup artist, and Craig Wong, restaurateur Years together: 23 Favourite date-night restaurant: Patois, 794 Dundas St. W. Go-to order: Kimchi potstickers ORIGIN STORY
Ivy: “We have an ongoing argument about how we met—”
Craig: “I was playing basketball with some friends —”
Ivy: “No, we met at a bus stop! For sure, though, it was when were both in grade nine.”
Craig: “We were best friends for four years before we even started to date, so we knew everything about each other.”
Ivy: “We made it official at a Blue Jays game, but we were so scared and shy that we kept looking at the field, not talking to each other! We both had different prom dates, but our dates were friends, so we were like, ‘Hey, do you mind if we switch?’” NOW AND THEN
Ivy: “We’re 37 now and our life is so different. We have our son, Milo, and the restaurant (Patois), which is a living, breathing thing that doesn’t just close the doors at night. Milo brings us back to earth, like enjoy this moment. Pause. Stop working.” Craig: “Date night has changed so much now. Where before we were hanging out to-
“We’re 37 now and our life is so different. We have our son, Milo, and the restaurant (Patois), which is a living, breathing thing that doesn’t just close the doors at night. Milo brings us back to earth, like enjoy this moment. Pause. Stop working.” IVY LAM
gether and we weren’t appreciating the time, now time has become so precious. I think we take care of ourselves a little bit better now. We’ll get a hotel in Toronto just the two of us. We’ll go and pick a restaurant. It’s almost like pretending we’re in a different city.” CHANGING TOGETHER
Craig: “Ivy is the smartest person I know and the one person that I can go to about everything, whether it be about life, our son or about tasting the newest dish that we have.”
Ivy: “Craig is so reliable. He makes me feel safe, but he also has a thirst for learning. It’s really inspiring not to stay stagnant.”
Craig: “Is it frustrating sometimes?”
Ivy: “Maybe sometimes, but mostly it’s special. We grow together, you know?” THE ARTISTS Chantal Kreviazuk and Raine Maida, musicians Years together: 23 Favourite date night restaurant: Terroni, 780 Queen St. W. Go-to order: Margherita pizza and spaghetti al limone ORIGIN STORY Kreviazuk: “We were so young! I was in Toronto for the first time filming the ‘God Made Me’ video. That night, I went to an event in the Sony box and Raine was in the row behind me.” Maida: “I fell in love with her as soon as she turned around.” [tears up]
Kreviazuk: “Sweetie! I felt the same way. Immediately.”
Maida: “I walked her back to her hotel and tried to call her later that night, but I didn’t know how to spell her name.”
Kreviazuk: “So I called him! When he answered, he was on the other line with the hotel receptionist trying to call me.”
Maida: “We built up a friendship first. I was with Our Lady Peace, touring for Clumsy, and she was touring 20 countries.”
Kreviazuk: “Our first date was that Charlize Theron movie…” Maida: “Two Days in the Valley. We held hands. That was a big deal.” COOKING WITH GAS Kreviazuk: “Food has always been important to our relationship. Early on, I secretly spent a couple of days with Raine’s grandmother learning her recipes.” Maida: “I came back from a tour and our loft smelled like lasagna. That’s when I knew I wanted to marry Chantal.” (laughs)
Kreviazuk: “We live in L.A. now with our three boys, but when we lived in Toronto, we were around the corner from Terroni and we’d come all the time.” Maida: “Everything is delicious and it’s so comfortable. It’s like home to us.” COURAGE, MY LOVE Maida: “We were pretty unsparing in our new documentary, I’m Going To Break Your
Heart( which puts their 20-year marriage under the spotlight as they record their joint album
Moon vs. Sun). It was hard to watch some of that footage and see how raw it was.”
Kreviazuk: “Even just based on the trailer, I’ve heard from so many people how refreshing they found it to see a couple being that honest about how hard it can be to be with another person. I’m proud of it and I’m proud of us, but it wasn’t easy. I can’t imagine another musician or rock god exposing themselves like this. Raine is the bravest and strongest man in the world.”
Maida: “We have our beautiful family and we have our music, which always connects us. Chantal is always searching for truth. She’s made me a better man, a better father and a better artist.”
“I’ve heard from so many people how refreshing they found it to see a couple being that honest about how hard it can be to be with another person. I’m proud of it and I’m proud of us, but it wasn’t easy.” CHANTAL KREVIAZUK ON DOCUMENTARY I’M GOING TO BREAK YOUR HEART