Storm Crow Manor a treat for nerds, geeks alike
Storm Crow Manor’s Dracarys Dragon egg (Scotch egg).
I am a nerd. There, I said it. I read fantasy fiction and Den of Geek. I follow English historical re-enactments on Twitter and YouTube. In university, I wrote a history essay on Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation as allegories of American foreign policy. (It got an A.)
My husband is a fellow nerd who, like me, competed on high school trivia television show Reach for the Top. We named our youngest daughter after a character from the Joss Whedon-verse. Our older children have been subjected to Monty Python quotes since birth. (“Engine room, stand by to feed the cat!”)
So it is with great delight that I find myself at Storm Crow Manor, billed as “Canada’s hottest nerd bar.”
I dine amid stained glass extraterrestrials and see a replica of Deckard’s blaster from Blade Runner. What a thrill.
But more than its geek-tastic good looks, I enjoy eating and drinking at Storm Crow. Anyone would, really. The food is better than expected for a theme restaurant, made from scratch instead of loaded in from a freezer truck. And the dry-ice drinks are more fun than a hypercube of monkeys.
Storm Crow opened last October in Toronto’s Gay Village. The 1877 building previously housed House Masion and Fuzion restaurants. Owner Jason Kapalka, who co-founded video game company PopCap, is planning a second Toronto location, this one with full accessibility.
It is not the only nerd hangout in town: We have Harry Potter-themed Lockhart bar, sci-fi spot See Scape and superhero restaurant Figures. But Storm Crow is so much mucher.
Here, servers are called knights, bartenders are potion masters, cooks are warriors and a wizard commands the dish pit.
“We are for the nerd community and the geek elite,” general manager Douglas Gregoire says.
(Though similar, geeks and nerds aren’t quite interchangeable. Geeks collect while nerds value intellect.)
Storm Crow is where I can roll a 20-sided dice (hello, Dungeons & Dragons!) to determine my alcoholic libation. I take my chances for $6 a shot. Once, the dice lands on the Blair Witch, a tart concoction of Frangelico and lime juice. Another time, I score the Admiral Akbar, a surprisingly muted combination of cinnamon whisky and peppermint schnapps.
The drinks menu is laid out like a Star Fleet manual. Smoke wafts from many cocktails, such as the rum-based Release the Kraken ($12) or the shareable Dark Side Bowl ($38) of punch served in a Darth Vader helmet.
Descriptions are a hoot, like the Corpse Reanimator ($12) made with a “brain that ‘fell off a truck’ somewhere.” (Paging Abby Normal!) Or the butterbeer ($9), basically a root beer float kissed with butterscotch schnapps, “that will have you speaking Parseltongue in no time.”
The food menu is equally full of clever sci-fi/fantasy references.
There is Avo-Kaiju toast ($9), a nod to Japanese monster movies. It nicely layers Mad Mexican guacamole, radishes, tomatoes and a perfect fried egg ($2 extra) atop Backerhaus Veit sourdough.
Servers — sorry, knights — bring comparable fun and energy to the experience.
“How are your first bites? Everything taste like food?” says the one I silently dub Sir Sass.
Game of Thrones gets a few shout-outs, starting with the Dracarys dragon egg ($9), a Scotch egg wrapped in homemade fennel sausage. House Clegane buttermilk- and harissa-marinated chicken ($22) with fluffy biscuits follows, then Old Nan’s richly comforting bread pudding ($9). A giant’s milk cocktail should be coming to the menu, right?
Transformers aside, Optimus prime rib ($28) is a proper slab of beef paired with buttered green beans, crisp Yorkshire pudding and disappointingly cold mashed potatoes. Only the chickpea fries ($10), like hummus made solid, are played straight.
As RuPaul says: Find your tribe. Storm Crow is my people. Diners read books at the table. They recognize and discuss the Inception soundtrack overhead. They play the board and card games stored in a second-floor cupboard.
But, as I learn one trivia night, I’m not as big a nerd as I thought. I score just three out of 10 in the first round, flaming out on questions about Veronica Mars, Community, Magic: The Gathering and anything video-game related.
Still, my belly is pleasantly full and my mind is fully stimulated.
Revenge of the nerds, indeed.