Excited to go out with someone met offline
Real life dating was definitely a promising new strategy for Olivia
Olivia is a 44-year-old bodywork therapist who lives in Roncesvalles. She says “My daily uniform is tights, soft layers and simple jewelry.” Olivia says she is “warm, intuitive, calm, communicative and open.” Olivia enjoys “cycling, movement, creative writing, reading poetry” and says that her “favourite things” include “great brunch places,” “vintage shopping” and “walking anywhere in the city of Toronto.” Olivia has been single for two years and says, “After about a year of online dating, I’ve hit the wall. I feel jaded for the first time in my life. I can easily spot a faker or a player. I just want a serious, honest, long-term partnership, with a guy who is chivalrous but independent.”
I had a very nice, platonic conversation with Brady, who I met at an event. He struck me as pleasant, warm and as someone with gravitas. He was my type, physically. He was a big talker, and while he didn’t ask me a lot of questions when we met, he was funny and seemed sincere. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, for nerves.
He had a child and seemed like a great dad, which appealed to me. He also seemed to have a similar dating mindset and expressed the importance of being friends first. In retrospect, I think he was just mirroring what I was saying, but that’s not necessarily a deal-breaker.
I was excited to go out with someone I’d met offline because the guys I’d been coming across online were not usually honest about their intentions. “Real life” was definitely a promising new strategy.
We agreed to meet for drinks the next week. We started the evening with a big hug and the warmth of the hug carried through the entire conversation. We ordered some appetizers to share. Brady ordered a cocktail, drank it and immediately ordered another one and then a third. I had a single glass of wine. I told him he was goodlooking. He seemed really pleased by the compliment. Men aren’t used to that.
He did most of the talking, but again, I chalked it up to nerves. He did try to ask me questions, but would interrupt my answers and lead the conversation back to himself.
As things were coming to a close, he said he’d had a good time and would like to go out again and I agreed and said that that would be nice. I was willing to see him one more time, but I wasn’t enthusiastic.
We asked for the bill and the waiter left it on the table and went to get the credit-card machine. I always offer to pay half the bill. However, I do appreciate it when the guy picks up the tab. Brady declined my offer to split the bill and said it was his pleasure to pay. I thanked him and we continued to talk while he paid.
After the server left, Brady looked at me and said, “So, I shaved last night.”
I wasn’t quite sure what I’d heard, or what he meant. I asked him to repeat himself. He had a beard, so I knew he didn’t mean his face. He said the same thing again, somewhat lasciviously, and I said, laughing, “What would possess you to say that?”
He didn’t say anything. I couldn’t stop laughing. I was hysterical, like really laughing hard. I couldn’t control myself. He laughed lightly and I was trying to compose myself, but I couldn’t.
My eyes were watering and I was repeating “What would possess you to say that!”
Eventually he spit out “Well, I don’t know, it just feels great and it’s the first time I’ve ever done it.” I think he’d been trying to impress me. For a few minutes, as we left, we talked about other things, but I had to ask him why he would tell me that. It was so personal! And this was a first date: It’s not like I’d be seeing the shaved, smooth area that night. And he was otherwise polite and respectful. He finally acknowledged that it was creepy to have told me that and said that he was embarrassed.
I appreciated him saying that and I decided to let it go. I really liked that he owned up to it. I did, though, decide not to go out with him again.
Olivia rates her date (out of 10): 1