Wedding date was intoxicating
After plenty of flirting, it seemed only right to test dating waters
Nick is 39, lives in “a condo jungle” downtown and is a social worker. He says “My style is ‘business casual’ on weekdays, which means a lot of khakis and ironed shirts, and ‘athletic guy’ on weekends. Nothing exciting. ” He says “I come off as more serious than I intend to be. I believe I have ‘resting nerd face.’ ” Nick likes playing basketball, hockey and golf; watching sports; reading non-fiction; watching documentaries; and is in the middle of working towards “another graduate degree.” Nick likes women who are “smart, interesting, independent and have something going on for themselves.”
I met Bella through friends. We had never spent time alone, but I ran into her fairly often. She was funny, intelligent, confident, had a substantial wit and was quite striking. We had a fun relationship and tended to flirt a bit, but I never thought much of it beyond it being friendly banter. She was in med school and that can make a person seem as if they’re on a totally different planet. She also kept me somewhat off-balance. I could never predict what she might say. One day, seemingly out of nowhere, she asked me why I’d never asked her out, which seemed like the ultimate flirt! I told her I didn’t know.
About a week later, on a Friday afternoon, I got a text from Bella. We had only texted once before, about a friend’s party. Immediately, we slid into a digital version of our fun and flirty dynamic. However, our schedules weren’t matching up and I wasn’t sure we would ever make it work. I assumed the idea of a real “date” would just go away. I was slightly relieved, and slightly disappointed. But, I did have a wedding to go to the following night. I had a spontaneous idea. I’d been given a plus-one when I was invited to the wedding, but had sent back an RSVP for one, as I was planning to go alone. I texted someone close to the groom to ask about using the original plusone at the last minute and, with the all-clear from them, asked Bella to go with me.
The wedding made for an intense and romantic and slightly awkward first date. It was unexpectedly uplifting to be on a first date wearing a suit, with my date in a beautiful dress. I had never seen Bella out of sweatpants or jeans before. We sat through dinner and speeches while making eyes at each other. Over the course of the evening, we established a very close approximation of intimacy. I hadn’t dated in a year or so at that point, so it was strange and exciting.
The food at the wedding was only OK, but the wine was excellent, which helped to plaster over any of the awkward patches. Even though neither of us are usually big dancers, we joined the bride’s and groom’s families for hours on the dance floor, getting into the Top 40 pop music and sentimental hits. I slightly knew a few people there, with whom we were seated, and we became a merry band of wine-fuelled revelers for the evening. It felt like we’d all known each other forever and, by the end of the night, had our own in-jokes.
Very late at night, Bella and I made our way back to my place. It seemed like something might happen between us, but she promptly fell asleep on the couch. I shepherded her into the bedroom, made sure to leave out a new toothbrush and some clean towels and then settled in on the couch.
The next morning, we went out for breakfast at a diner I frequent. We were hungover, as expected, but it was more emotional than physical. Both of us seemed slightly embarrassed by the intensity of the night before. We didn’t really know each other, after all, and it seemed clear that we’d been overtaken by the atmosphere of the wedding. We overdid it and ate mostly in silence.
After that, we didn’t see each other again romantically. I was transitioning into a new role at work and her medical-school schedule was intense. We communicated a little bit by text afterward, but never really found the same energy we’d shared that night.
Nick rates his date (out of 10): 7