Divided royalties
Harry and Meghan moving to Canada? Vinay Menon gives his not-so royal assent,
Dearest Duke and Duchess of Sussex:
It’s Wednesday afternoon and you just completely ruined my column for Thursday, which was an open letter on why you should leave the Royal Family. You ruined it because now you’ve come out and stated that is PRECISELY THE PLAN.
Sweet baby Jesus. Here is what you just released in a statement:
“After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution. We intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen.
“It is with your encouragement, particularly over the last few years, that we feel prepared to make this adjustment. We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages.
“This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity. We look forward to sharing the full details of this exciting next step in due course, as we continue to collaborate with Her Majesty The Queen, The Prince of Wales, The Duke of Cambridge and all relevant parties. Until then, please accept our deepest thanks for your continued support.”
Wow. Just wow. This is unprecedented in modern royal history.
It’s as if Kylie decided to quit the Jenners.
What you’ve just done, Harry and Meghan, is thumb your nose at the Royal Family — and good on you!
After spending Christmas with baby Archie in a rented manse on Vancouver Island, where you were free to come and go without the soul-sucking indignity of cameras and tabloid judgment, you had an epiphany.
You saw the light. You decided it’s time to break free from royal shackles.
And all I can say is: It’s about bloody time.
As I argued last year, more than once, you two should escape the lunacy of the stuffy, suffocating, stunting, regressive, woefully regimented expectations that plume from Buckingham Palace like toxic smoke bombs.
Harry, you were born into this life. Meghan, you married into it. The pull of obligation is no doubt strong.
But here’s the thing: that obligation is a mirage. And now you see this.
If Donald Trump can shatter all of the rules of the U.S. presidency, you two can surely go it alone and leave your senior royal duties behind. If anything, those duties are now an albatross around your necks. Your charity and global-outreach dreams would actually be easier to achieve if you were freed from the burdens of royalty.
Harry, let’s get real here, your interests and passions are not exactly polo and balcony waving.
And, Meghan, do you really want to spend the best years of your life in a ridiculous hat as you hobnob with snooty highsociety types who sip tea while rambling incoherently about Brexit or the absurd cost of private school (which they insist on calling “public school”)?
No, you do not. The Royal Family was never your path to self-fulfilment.
It was always destined to be a gilded cage that imprisoned your spirit.
And all I can say is: Canada is where you belong.
The hell with the royal family! I get that you have to say you’ll be “splitting” your time, but they don’t deserve you. Screw them. They have treated your marriage like an unwanted third family car. There’s no room in the garage. They don’t change your oil and filter. They don’t care about your tire pressure. They just want you to rust out in the driveway, but be ready to start if and when needed. Whatever.
So now that you’ve made this momentous decision, move to Canada. Not part time, but forever. In Canada, there would be no garage. There would only be a highway of endless opportunity. You could be who you’ve always wanted to be: free to affect change globally while cocooned inside a home base that is nurturing, not smothering; liberating, not stifling.
You two have just made a consequential decision, and it’s the best one of your lives. You are finally free. Stepping back from your royal duties amounts to stepping into your future.
As I’ve written before, the Royal Family needs you more than you need them. But in their arrogance and haste, they never got you as individuals, nor as a couple. They always wanted you to play second fiddle when, in reality, you were destined to be lead guitar.
And now the amps are yours to dial up to 10.
Congratulations, Harry and Meghan. You are free. Your life starts now.
And when ready, Canada is waiting to welcome you with open arms.