Why I’m saying ‘no way’ to ‘Galentine’s Day’
Serving up ‘girl power’ as a consolation prize for singles on Valentine’s Day misses the point
What was once a holiday formerly known as Valentine’s Day has now become something else altogether: Galentine’s Day. A day (also on Feb. 14, shocker!) for you to get together with your platonic girlfriends. A day where women are encouraged to not only embrace self-love, but to also celebrate their admiration and platonic love for one another, often over food, drinks, yoga (or other self-care kind of class,) etc. Cue: Shania Twain: “Let’s go girls.”
My younger self would say, giddy up, and I’d have used the rebranded day to curate a group of women I admire to celebrate and banter about boys (it always goes back to boys), but the “me” now says, “Hell no.”
It’s time for us all to reel in what has become a day to rage against romantic love and to just let it be — wait for it — just another day, whether we are in a romantic relationship or not.
I first heard of Galentine’s about eight years ago — around the same time anti-Valentine’s Day parties and happenings started being promoted at bars, restaurants and various venues across the GTA — thanks to a barrage of emails from persistent PR’s pitching anything they could to get coverage for a mass-produced day promoting prix fixe dinners and complimentary glasses of champagne.
The messaging in regards to this day seems to be: Single this upcoming Feb.14 and want not to be? Have no fear, Galentine’s Day is here.
And every bar, restaurant, spa and beauty salon in the city won’t let you forget it.
Come one, come all to a venue of choice with your besties and bask in the blues, no boys allowed.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for women celebrating women and coming together, but the more I think about what this day has become (one of expectations, loneliness, needing to justify ones singlehood) the more I think that perhaps getting together with our girls (sans partners) sort of feels like an anti-Valentine’s Day extravaganza.
It’s as if we are trying to showcase to ourselves and to others that we’re all good and that this day doesn’t make us feel a certain way and no we don’t care that we are going through a divorce or a loss or an “it’s complicated” situation.
Which, like, cringe. I love my girlfriends. They challenge me. They motivate me. They are strong, successful women and often when in their company I feel so very #blessed at what a great bond I’ve found with likeminded inspiring ladies.
And yet, I have no desire to attend a girly gathering that’s meant to challenge a day for couples to either express their love or to be disappointed by expectations unmet.
I love love. I made a whole career of it. I love exploring connections and our relationships with ourselves and with others, romantic or otherwise. And yet, confused and passive aggressive celebrations of love make me cringe.
So no, I will not attend your girls night drag show or your ladies only review that includes two drink tickets, or whatever else you’re offering me on a day that we aren’t meant to force love or mask with alcohol or distraction.
I’d rather identify and confront why we’re pushing women together just to counteract a certain — Hallmark though it might be — holiday.
But you know what I will do? I will go to the Post Malone concert with my friend because it happens to fall on Feb. 14, not because it is that day.
And for heaven’s sake, if you don’t agree with me, I get it, the old me didn’t agree with current me either, and who knows, we’re always growing and changing and perhaps this time next year, I’ll be singing a different tune.
And if you are going to set aside my opinion and hit up a ladies night this Friday, please put down your phones and be present and don’t discuss past loves or romantic situations that don’t deserve your attention. Amen.