Not just the Queen is judging your actions
On Sunday, the Queen got something right — not anything named Charles or Andrew, that’s for sure — and it is the essence of our response to this current plague.
“I hope in the years to come, everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge,” she said, with “the attributes of self-discipline, of quiet good-humoured resolve and of fellow-feeling.” Clearly, she had been taking notes when I tweeted earlier, “We’re all being tested on how well we personally respond to this public emergency.”
What I’m saying is that you will look back and assess how badly or well you behaved. No one will judge you, not really. It is a time of great stress. But you will judge yourself. Will you find yourself wanting?
On the same day as the Queen’s speech, an Ohio lady interviewed by CNN as she drove away from church was dead certain that she was safe from COVID-19. I urge you to watch the video.
“Aren’t you worried you could impact other people if you get sick inside?” the reporter asked her. “No, I’m covered in Jesus’s blood,” she said flatly. (Actually, she said “Now, ah’m cov-ed in Jaysus’s blaawd.”)
“There are other people who don’t go to this church who you might infect,” the reporter said. “I go to the grocery store every day!” the woman exclaimed. “I’m in Walmart, Home Depot. Look at those people. They could get me sick! But they’re not because I’m covered in his blood,” she added before driving off.
I have two questions: Will she realize that she morally flamed out? And why was she wearing a seatbelt?
“I’m covered in Jesus’s blood” has become my earworm, my private code for bad COVID-19 behaviour and there’s a fair bit of it, given that people left to their own devices will behave like animals let out of a zoo. They explore. They mess about. They gather and shed a viral load.
A Toronto artist named Dreeem made a terrific $16 poster in the font of old Honest Ed’s store signs, saying “We’re all in this together!” I contemplated buying one but didn’t, given that I am dubious about chirpy cheerleading slogans followed by exclamation marks. There’s no “I” in team, as the Americans say, which is why there’s no Heather in team either.
Still, I was sad. When I reconsidered, the website said the posters had been pulled and I couldn’t put one in my front window beside the teddy bears for local toddlers. It turns out that one of the original Honest Ed’s sign painters claimed Dreeem had lifted his (uncopyrighted) lettering and style.
It’s in a good cause, which is lifting people’s spirits, Dreeem said, saying he was “bummed that they’re bummed.”
But the ex-sign painter (I won’t name him) was adamant, the Globe reported. The sign painter is now selling his own signs for $250, with half going to a food bank, but laid-off people don’t have $250.
I was so upset that I took the Very Hungry Caterpillar and the Goat mask out of my front window. The next morning, I put them back and added an owl. But that painter failed the moral test. Ask the Queen.
We are all on a straight path, six metres apart, to flatten the curve. But inevitably people will turn away, as a tree branch does from the main trunk.
It was suggested I contact an older neighbour who lived alone. I did, arriving at her door with a fresh homebaked loaf of bread or an attempt at one.
She opened a window cautiously. “I don’t eat bread.” Now I would have just politely picked the damn loaf off the porch and quietly binned it. But no. She did not eat bread. “I don’t eat bread,” she said again.
In other words, she is covered in the blood of Jesus. But unlike the bloodsoaked Ohioan, she is covered in a way that soothes her and troubles no one. There’s an elegance in that. It’s a kind of cool independence, very Toronto.
And then she sent me a kind note. Are we all in this together in admiring this strong woman? Yes. I mean, Yes!
Heather Mallick is a columnist based in Toronto covering current affairs. Follow her on Twitter: @HeatherMallick