Looking forward to a bittersweet Ramadan
“This is the most difficult day of my life.”
I remember looking at the disappointed and worried faces of my congregation the day we decided to shut down mosque services due to COVID-19 last month.
As we exchanged our salams, not knowing when we would gather again, I remember wondering at the irony of telling people to stay home when, for so long, I would urge them to join our communal prayers.
After all, congregational prayer brings people together in ways that little else can. It fosters co-operation, mutual love and unity in our communities. This is why letting go of this crucial tradition remains painful. While many religious services have moved online, the truth is that online connectivity can never replace real-life connection.
With the arrival of Ramadan, the stress of being apart is compounded. Ramadan is a time deeply connected with community, during which meals are always shared with family and friends and mosques are brimming to capacity with those performing night prayers. We meet and see people in Ramadan that we likely won’t see for the rest of the year, sharing memories that nourish us for the coming months. It is grim to realize that this Ramadan will be void of most of those experiences and instead be marked by separation.
Still, it is in the DNA of the believer to remain optimistic. As an imam, I believe we should prepare our communities to embrace the challenge ahead of us. If God intends physical separation for us, we have to find the positive.
Just as congregational prayers are so deeply cherished in the Islamic tradition, so, too, are prayers in seclusion.
In the past, I’ve heard many people complain that Ramadan had become too social an occasion as people become focused on cooking food rather than personal introspection and quiet worship. The Prophet Muhammad would spend his days abstaining from food and drink and large portions of night in prayer with a focus and intensity that underscored the sacredness of the holy month.
The month was never meant to be the highlight of our social calendars. That was meant to be saved for the celebration of Eid al-Fitr, which marks the successful completion of this major pillar of Islam.
Indeed, Ramadan should inspire us to focus inwardly. The act of fasting from sunrise to sunset is a personal act. Fasting cannot be witnessed by another human, making it a deeply intimate, secret observance. Anyone can pretend to fast, but the Creator can’t be fooled.
By secluding ourselves in worship and devotion, we enhance our personal sense of sincerity and self-discipline. In a world full of egos, where everyone is trying to impress someone, these lessons are both empowering and deeply grounding.
For this reason, the Prophet encouraged people to be somewhat discreet with their acts of worship. “God loves those who are God conscious, clean, and perform good in secret,” he is reported to have said.
Finding seclusion in our homes may be challenging, considering that many of us are with our families. This, too, presents a valuable opportunity for all of us.
It’s a time to strengthen the bonds with our loved ones and share in this special religious occasion in a meaningful, focused manner.
There are many examples in the prophetic tradition that point to the importance of family and the mercy and compassion we need to show one another.
“God’s mercy is with a wife who awakens her husband and they pray together,” reads one tradition.
For my fellow imams, caretakers of mosques, and other community leaders who are accustomed to leading congregations during this month, we have an opportunity to offer support to our community members in different ways.
Instead of preaching from the pulpit, we must find other means of connecting, especially with those who may be alone during a time synonymous with family togetherness. We can make personal phone calls, offer Zoom check-ins, anything to help lift spirits and provide hope.
After all, what is faith if not a reason to hope for better days to come.