I sent him to wrong place and he wasn’t mad
His eyes were the bluest blue, and when he looked at me it was magical
Lola is a 43-year-old “girlboss of my own company” who lives in Queen West. She says, “My life is all about my business and I’ve been working from home forever, even before all of this, so I gravitate toward soft, flowy pants and nice tops for video calls. I also love sneakers. I have so many pairs. I’m a collector.” Lola is friendly, chatty and “extremely empathetic.” Lola says, “I strive to make choices that lead me toward health and happiness. I love yoga, walks and mindfulness practices. My mantra is ‘Choose happy.’ ”
When I’m using dating apps, I usually go out once a week or so. If I vibe with someone, I delete my profile, set an intention and go on a second date. It’s such a bummer when you think you’re dating someone and they’re still on the apps. Dating multiple people at once confuses me emotionally. Dating apps really enable “overdoing it” so I try to be mindful of that.
Alex messaged me. He was divorced, but it seemed like he didn’t have any drama in his life. I don’t like when someone says they’re “separated” because that often means they’re still in the process of becoming emotionally and financially “separate.” I’d rather date a man who has completed that transition and is truly single.
Alex seemed to be slim, fit, active and stylish, the kind of guy who takes care of himself. I also got the impression that he was successful in his work life and that he didn’t have a big ego. I liked that he was willing to meet anywhere I wanted. I suggested a cool coffee shop I know of, with a great vibe.
The first thing that happened as I arrived at the coffee shop was that I realized I’d forgotten my phone at home. It was much too late to go home and get it. I was really thrown off. I had arrived maybe five minutes early for the date, so I sat and tried to centre myself, but I was a little disconcerted about the phone. Not having it as a crutch was hard, right before a first date.
I was a little annoyed when Alex was late. I realized he might have texted me to cancel or update our plans, but there was no way to know. After waiting what felt like 20 minutes or so, I walked to the bathroom and saw a big sign with the name of the coffee shop on it. It was only then, when I looked at the name of the place, that it occurred to me that I had told Alex to go to a completely different coffee shop! I must have spaced out and given him the name of a different one while I was visualizing this one.
The other coffee shop was 15 minutes away, minimum. I booted it to the other location, went running in and saw the sweetest-looking man sitting and waiting patiently. I was mortified and insisted on buying him his second cup of coffee and then explained to him how absolutely stupid I had been. He was so profoundly sweet and kept saying it was OK and that we could start the date from that moment.
His eyes were the bluest blue, and when he looked at me it was magical. He was genuinely interested in what I had to say and after I apologized at least twice for the misunderstanding, he said, “It was all worth it, you’re here now.” He showed me the texts he’d sent me, which were kind and considerate.
The conversation was easy and comfortable. We didn’t seem to run out of things to say and, from the hectic beginnings of the date, settled into a nice groove. I know a bit about the business he’s in, and knew that he was very successful and respected, but he downplayed his accomplishments. He also made a big effort to ask questions and get to know me. We spent an hour together and left each other with a big hug. I said something about how he probably didn’t want to see me again because I was clearly so flighty, half-kidding, and he said “How could you possibly think I wouldn’t want to see you again?” We made plans to meet up for dinner the following week — but he did make sure we both had the right address!
Lola rates her date (out of 10): 9