Saying a lot by saying nothing
Trudeau’s silence on Trump was a smart play, Vinay Menon writes.
This might be the longest Justin Trudeau did not talk since he learned to talk.
It’s Tuesday in Ottawa. A CBC reporter, Tom Parry, asks the prime minister about Donald Trump, specifically, the U.S. president’s call for military action against protesters and the use of tear gas on citizens to make way for a church photo-op.
“I’d like to ask you what you think about that,” said Parry. “And if you don’t want to comment, what message do you think you’re sending?”
What followed was an astonishing 22 seconds of silence heard around the world.
You know when your laptop freezes and crashes? That laptop was Trudeau’s brain. He blinked in slow-motion. He exhaled. He smacked his lips. His breathing got shallow. His mouth opened and closed, but the words cowered behind his tonsils.
As a bird squawked and reporters presumably had time to grab a BLT, Trudeau stared into the middle distance with the lost expression of a man who was told he had five minutes to live.
You could almost hear the music from Final Jeopardy. A CNN chyron from Tuesday night: “TRUDEAU STUNNED INTO SILENCE OVER TRUMP’S USE OF MILITARY FORCE ON AMERICANS TO CLEAR WAY FOR PHOTOOP.”
Stunned into silence myself, all I could think was: Please, God, don’t let Trump see this.
I hate when people say “the media,” like those of us in this godforsaken business have the same microchip implanted into our skulls as we meet in a subterranean lair to clink goblets of bourbon while laughing about the liberal narratives we plan to foist upon the rubes. The media is not a monolith. We are individuals with our own hearts and minds, beliefs and opinions.
We are trying to do right and keep the world informed. That’s it. The next time you bump into a journalist, thank them for caring. OK? And maybe give them a few bucks for a hot meal.
All that said, today I must do what I hate and co-opt “the media” catch-all.
Why? Because “the media” is clearly trying to get us all killed. Why is “the media” stirring up cross-border drama at a time like this? Are we not in a global pandemic? Is our relationship with America not already in the crapper? If he’s keen to sic dogs or tanks on his own people, do you think Trump would hesitate to invade Ottawa or bomb Toronto or annex Vancouver? I bet Eric and Don Jr. are now calling dibs on Moose Jaw, to turn it into a big-game hunting resort.
Asking Trudeau about Trump at this point in 2020 is like trying to change a tire with a toothpick for a jack. Someone is going to get crushed real bad and that someone is Canada.
Is this what “the media” wants? To trap our prime minister in a steel-cage octagon with a hulking opponent who will need less than 22 seconds to gouge his eyes and hoof him in the gemstones?
I wish “the media” would watch old clips of “Coach’s Corner” and jot down a few the animal idioms Don Cherry used to slap shot at viewers: Hold your horses! Let sleeping dogs lie! The elephant in the room! Play with a bull and get the horns!
Does “the media” not realize Canada will get gored if Trudeau gives Trump any job review?
The worst part for PM Marcel Marceau is he does not have a Kellyanne Conway to clean up every mess with a mop and a bucket of alternative facts. Did you hear her claim Trump’s Bible photo-op was not a photo-op? I honestly didn’t understand. It’s like she was saying, “Listen, just because he was idling in line to get a burger and fries does not mean that was a ‘drive-thru.’ This so-called ‘drive-thru’ was really just a righteous pathway to sustenance.”
Then again, this is the woman who said, “This is COVID-19, not COVID-1, folks.” Yeah, folks! This novel coronavirus is like an iPhone and we’re on the 19th generation. Why didn’t Obama or the WHO get the bugs out during the first 18 versions? This is their fault.
Why has Kellyanne’s husband, George, not staged an intervention or hired human smugglers to whisk her away to a MAGA-detox camp? But Trump is lucky to have a semantic fluffer on the payroll. If it ever came out he was having an extramarital affair with a farm animal, Conway would go on Fox and excoriate the Democrats for creating a bestiality hoax.
“Folks, this is like the phoney Russia investigation, but with sheep.”
And that is why “the media” needs to zip it and not ask Trudeau about Trump. Not now. Not today Satan, not today! We need our guy to focus on restarting the economy before there’s no gas left in the tank. We don’t need him blowing a gasket with 22 seconds of dead air and an international incident. Everyone can see how Trump is doing right now and make their own conclusions.
I have no doubt Trudeau thinks Trump is out of his mind. That thought should stay in his mind.
“The media” really gets my goat. Stop being pig-headed and going on wild goose chases.
The cat got Trudeau’s tongue this week because he knows Canada is a sitting duck.
Asking Trudeau about Trump at this point in 2020 is like trying to change a tire with a toothpick for a jack