Good neighbours can add joy, reduce stress

Connecting with those around you is vital to resisting loneliness

CHICAGO— Realtor Kate McClelland knew she was in for surprises when she moved into the city from the suburbs.

Turns out, the north-side neighbourhood of Mayfair turned out to be a happy discovery for the suburbanite who had just divorced.

“I ended up with neighbours on either side of me who sort of decided that they were going to help take care of me,” McClelland said.

A neighbour down the street makes it a point to text her when she has a package on her porch or when her daughter’s vehicle is parked in the wrong spot on street-cleaning day. The son of another neighbour clears her snow with his snow blower. And the care is reciprocated. McClelland rakes leaves in a neighbours’ yard when doing her own. She has delivered baked goods to neighbours when she’s stress-baking and bonded over political signs with a young couple down the street.

“The neighbours on my block watch out for each other,” McClelland said. “It’s like a microcosm of the melting pot of Chicago, and everybody gets along.”

Neighbours have an impact on happiness. According to a 2018 study by the American Association of Retired Persons, getting to know the neighbours can help reduce loneliness. The study found 61per cent of adults aged 45 and older who have never spoken to a neighbour are lonely, compared with 33 per cent of those who have.

“I think that people have different ideas, depending on what their experience has been about what neighbours are good for, what they’re bad for, and how much attention to pay to them,” said Julienne Derichs, a licensed, clinical professional counsellor in Chicago.

“If you feel disconnected in your environment, that does impact happiness,” said Derichs. “What we know about happiness is, when people are connected with other people, their levels of happiness go up.”

Alex Smith, founder and CEO of The Cares Family, a U.K.based organization aimed at reducing loneliness across generational divides, said that urban living can contribute to people feeling alone.

“One of the things that makes big cities amazing are there are people and cultures from every corner on Earth, and that draws people as well as the economic and cultural opportunities. But that same transience and speed in the city is what is increasingly leaving people feeling left out, left behind and lonely,” said Smith.

Neighbours can keep a resident from leaving a community — even with major life changes. McClelland has seen clients who had a new baby refuse to move to a more appropriate space because their sense of belonging and connection to their neighbours is tangible.

Derichs encourages individuals to recognize people in their neighbourhoods, and interact — safely — with those who may be different. The counsellor suggests simply making eye contact, smiling and saying “hello,”.

“It’s the micro-moments that we have in life that bring us happiness.”