Social-media obsession is bad for mental health and finances
Feeling the need to keep up with other people is destructive on several levels
When Sukhmani Virdi graduated from law school, she entered the job market with thousands of dollars in debt.
It was a relief to finally start working in her field, and start paying off the money she owed.
But when Virdi went on social media, she would see photos of people travelling and wonder where they got the time — and the money. Hadn’t they gone to school, too? Were they not in debt like she was?
“You do get hit with a pang of jealousy,” said Virdi. “Why can’t I have those things?”
The pressure mounted when Virdi started planning her wedding. She would see photos of other people’s weddings on Instagram, and start to want things she hadn’t even considered before. She ended up going over her budget.
“I started following my wedding vendors on Instagram, for example, and the algorithm starts showing you more wedding vendors and showing you more wedding photos and what other people are doing,” she said.
“I will actually delete my social media apps off my phone as a way to kind of counter that feeling or instinct.”
It’s a feeling one might call financial “FOMO,” or “fear of missing out.” It’s the reason you keep scrolling Instagram, or the reason you bought five sets of loungewear at the beginning of the pandemic. It might even be the reason you’re in debt, and it can lead to a vicious loop that exacerbates mental health problems like depression and anxiety.
Financial FOMO is when you spend because you feel the need to keep up with others or keep up a certain image, said Adam Fisch, an advice-only financial planner at Stewart and Kett Financial Advisors.
Of course, some discretionary spending is part of life. So how do you know when you have crossed the line?
If your long-term goals are taking a back seat to discretionary spending, or you’re getting into debt for that spending, you’re likely living beyond your means, said Fisch.
Natasha Knox, founder of Alaphia Financial Wellness, said people have a tendency to compare up, meaning they only compare themselves to those they believe are doing better than they are.
“It happens at all income levels,” she added.
And with the increasingly sophisticated algorithms on social media, as well as sponsored posts and other forms of advertising, it’s become all too easy to click “buy,” said Knox.
“A lot of times it’s linked to boredom,” she said, as well as stress.
Hamilton-based psychotherapist Foluke Akinboyo said the way people portray their lives on social media can cause followers to look at their own life with a critical lens, fuelling anxiety and even depression about their own circumstances.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” she said.
In an effort to fill the gap, you might start spending money, a small splurge here and there, which then furthers the guilt and anxiety over your financial circumstances, she said — a vicious cycle.
“The fear of missing out is an emotional toll,” said Akinboyo.
Jessica Moorhouse, financial educator and host of the More Money podcast, said people often forget social media is crafted, like a highlight reel of someone’s life. But it’s easy to blame yourself for not living up to others’ posts, she said. “It’s a constant comparison game.”