Young woman has right to wear skimpy attire

Q: I was at a busy airport with my husband, both in our 40s, when I overheard an older couple next to us in line, observing the following:

An attractive woman, probably early 20s, swept by in a short dress, very low-cut in front, and her back partially bare. She was accompanied by a young man in more conservative clothing.

The older woman laughingly asked her husband (possibly in his 70s) if he saw the young woman’s “ample bosom.” She then commented on her “rump.” Her husband nodded and grinned.

I was upset that those two mature seniors could casually objectify a young woman’s body parts, at a time when women globally are fighting to end that abominable practice that has always been a potential door to sexual abuse.

My own husband said, “Well, that young woman did dress to be noticed, especially in an airport.”

I responded that women have the right to dress as they please, but not to be objectified as a means to an end for men. And that it’s particularly creepy when an older man, who may even have daughters, could look at a young female that way.

I’m very interested in what you and your readers think about all this. Body Language

A: You’re absolutely right that all women have the right to dress as they choose (within the laws of the land that apply to everyone, ie. on public nudity).

All genders dress for attention in different ways and places. And, while the older woman laughed when she pointed out the young woman’s dress, she was inadvertently suggesting her husband ogle the woman. Yes, that’s truly creepy.

Q: My best friend, who’s married and has a young child, realized I was struggling financially during COVID (as was she, since none of us were working).

She invited me to move in with her family at a lower rent than I’d been paying living alone.

Everything was fine at first but, as the lockdowns dragged on, we were three 30-somethings, all living on edge.

My friend’s husband became very sarcastic when talking to me, their four-year-old started yelling unless he had the TV blaring loudly, and my friend was constantly on edge.

I tried to stay longer in my room, out of their way, reading a lot to avoid the turmoil.

Soon, screaming fights erupted between the couple, with the husband storming around. I was finally told harshly by him that I had to leave.

I fled. After 10 years of closeness, my former friend and I haven’t spoken since.

It turned out to be lucky because I found a spacious flat, in a home whose owners had moved to their cottage to wait out the pandemic. I’m now starting to go back to my workplace three times a week.

But what should I do about my lost friendship? Doesn’t she owe me an apology?

Damaged Friendship

A: As the saying goes, “That ship has sailed.” The couple and their child are still a unit. Any acceptance of renewed friendship with you would likely anger her husband who’d take it as disloyalty.

He made you the scapegoat — the reason for all their tensions, even though that wasn’t the case. But it allowed them to stay together … if they can.

Forget the apology. She has enough to handle in her household. But don’t be surprised that at some time she may reach out and need you.

Ellie’s tip of the day

Women’s apparel reflects their taste, NOT any interest in being objectified or ogled.