He melted my case of nerves away
Lara is a 36-year-old brand manager who lives in midtown. She says her style is “blogger chic” and that she is “90 per cent hair.” She says, “I have such a loud voice and so much curly hair that I try to keep my wardrobe style minimal. I think about proportion and fit, and choose classic pieces and jewelry, but I’m also always rocking a trend or two.” Lara says she is “smart as a whip, very focused on work and in love with my friends” and that “my downfall is that I can get drawn into details and minutiae and forget the bigger picture.” Lara likes “game nights at my place, with popcorn and wine” as well as “working out, reading, singing, travelling to new parts of the world and exploring new facets of myself.”
I might have lost some social skills during the pandemic. I was single the entire time and mostly in my apartment. The gym was closed so I started jogging outdoors for the first time in my life. It saved my sanity, but I really zeroed in on learning to run and let dating slide.
I have actually known Martin for years. We’ve been part of the same circle of friends forever. With time and age that group has drifted apart with kids and moves, as is to be expected. I knew him well enough to know that he was still single and that he was having a lot of wins at work. My friend Bonnie had always asked me why I didn’t try something out with him. I didn’t know why. I always had something else going on with someone.
One day we got caught up with each other in a side chat from a group email. It felt different talking to Martin than it had before. I let the chat go a bit deeper and that led to him asking me out.
I was incredibly nervous and stressed out before the date. I was bugging out. I went panicshopping and bought a bunch of stuff I couldn’t afford, including a bag that literally cost more than my rent.
The moment arrived and Martin picked me up outside my building. We just went to a patio instead of attempting to go inside anywhere. I was happy with that. Keep it simple. I hadn’t seen Martin in so long and he looked different than I remembered. Not better or worse, but something had changed. It’s weird to see how guys tend to age. I thought that maybe he had lost some weight — his face seemed to have deeper lines. He was relaxed and seemed happy to see me, which was obvious in comparison to how freaked out I was. That alone made me like him and feel attracted to him.
At dinner, I continued to feel out of my element. I had already decided to return the expensive new bag but forgot and put it on the ground beside my chair. My brand new sweatercoat that I hung on the back of my chair fell off and also ended up on the ground. I wondered if this was just pandemic nerves or if I was just really into Martin.
He was really smooth, really polite and cute. He had looked at the menu ahead of time and had read reviews, and even talked to a friend in the know and recommended some dishes. I realized that he was taking this date really seriously. That evened things out for me and I was able to calm down.
The conversation ended up being really good. I love getting into a conversational zone that flows, where you don’t notice the time passing, and we got there easily, mostly talking about our careers and the crazy people we work with, and problems in our different jobs. It was
really nice to feel so connected to someone on a date level, not just a friend level.
We didn’t really have anywhere else to go after dinner, so Martin walked me back to my apartment. He took my hand and we held hands for most of the walk. It was sweet and I realized it actually felt really right. We sat outside for a while before I went in. We didn’t kiss, but it was a cute end to the night. I didn’t end up returning the bag!
Lara rates her date (out of 10):