Pandemic can’t be avoided, even for love

Bill is 34, works in marketing and lives downtown. He says, “I don’t wear labels. I’m in marketing, so I hate paying a premium for brands.” Bill describes himself as “anxious” and says, “I get nervous before dates and I think the other person picks up on that.” He likes going for walks and says, “Walking alone helps me think.” Bill also likes reading, playing racquet sports, collecting vinyl and spending time lost in thought. He has “a small number of favourite restaurants” and likes planning dates that are either active or artistic. He’s been single for a few years and says, “I’m looking for the one.”

I’m used to a very active life, so COVID has been a struggle. Some of my close friends and family members have pre-existing medical conditions that make them more vulnerable to illness, so I have spent a lot of time in self-isolation in order to see them.

To mitigate the loneliness, I’ve used dating apps throughout the pandemic. Cecily had written nothing on her profile but had included pictures. I was attracted to her looks. When we exchanged messages, I discovered that she had an interesting job and that she had just gotten out of a serious relationship. She was the one who broke it off.

She seemed to want our situation to progress quickly, as she suggested that we talk on the phone. I gave her my number and she called me from a blocked number. We had a short conversation.

She told me she wanted to meet but was ill. She let me know a few days later when she was feeling better. Before planning the date, I verified that she was triple vaccinated and had fully recovered. I’m triple vaccinated. I felt uneasy at first when she told me that she had been ill, but I considered how it didn’t necessarily mean anything and how easy it is to get sick.

We arranged to meet at a coffee shop. I thought we could get acquainted over coffee and then move on to dinner. When I got there, I realized that all the seating had been pushed to the side and was blocked off. I waited inside for Cecily

with my mask on, but started to feel guilty for not ordering anything. Cecily texted to say she would be late. I bought a coffee and went to the corner to wait. When I lifted my mask to drink it, I was told I’d have to leave to drink the coffee. I gulped my coffee down outside and went back inside to wait with my mask on.

When Cecily arrived, I made a bad joke about both of us only being able to see each other’s eyes. At that point, she suggested that we pull our masks down briefly to compare our faces to our profile photos. It was a spontaneous moment. Cecily told me that I looked like my photos. She looked different, but good.

We wandered around looking for somewhere more hospitable. I was surprised by how many places were closed, some of them permanently. Some of the places that were still open were crowded and we both felt uncomfortable. We eventually found a casual place to go. The conversation turned to COVID, even though we were trying to forget the situation. We ate one after the other so we wouldn’t both be unmasked at the same time. While one person ate, the other person had the burden of the conversation.

Cecily seemed ambiguous about the need for precautions. She said that while she was vaccinated, she didn’t want to tell other people how to behave. She said her friends were going to parties. I was surprised by this. I told her about a family member of mine who wouldn’t share his vaccination status with others. He thought it was only his business. We seemed to have different perspectives, but since it seemed like a sensitive topic I didn’t push.

The conversation finally died as we finished our food. Cecily got up and said she should go, that she had a busy evening ahead. I didn’t object. I asked her if I could see her home as it had gotten dark, but Cecily said she was fine. She gave me a quick hug and walked away. The date hadn’t gone well. If only COVID-19 hadn’t dominated the conversation.

Bill rates his date (out of 10): 4