A HARD LIFE IN THE KITCHEN
86’d. That’s a term we use in the kitchen when we’re running out of an ingredient. That’s also exactly how I feel right now.
I’ve spent 17 years in the restaurant industry. From the age of 13, I was washing dishes for cash, working my way up to finally running my first kitchen at 19 years old.
The kitchen is something that saved me. It showed me discipline, loyalty and gave me a sense of belonging. If I didn’t show up for a shift, it would impact the whole restaurant. If a dishwasher called in sick, line cooks would have to take over, portioning, washing, cleaning, running to the fridge to grab something in the middle of a busy service. Seconds matter during that rush.
They needed me. I felt a sense of purpose.
But now, we face the pandemic, with the start of the new year marked by more restaurant closures. We’re constantly worrying if our jobs are on the line every couple of months. We worry about being able to pay the bills. I worry we’ll be able to survive.
Our restaurants and workers are taking a massive hit during lockdowns and restrictions. We’ve heard and seen a lot of the frustrations the public has around questioning vaccines and masks, with some delving into conspiracy theories. While that is a reality, there are many other systemic issues within our industry, as well as other communities that haven’t been addressed.
A huge portion of our industry is now jobless, and many others are jumping ship as restaurants close down at an alarming rate. The biggest reason why I believe people are leaving, through talking to others in the industry, is the mistreatment at the workplace. The pandemic just became that extra push that made it clear that people needed to get out while they could. We can no longer bear the uncertainty.
I look back at my own experience, and can see now that I had it better than many others in my industry. Two years ago, I was in Houston, Texas working for Cirque Du Soleil:
Alegria as the Head Chef for the VIP department. Long story short, the pandemic blew up overnight and we were sent home in a matter of days. I was back in Canada the day the border closed. And came home to absolutely nothing.
No car, no home, all my belongings in a storage unit. I was supposed to be gone, cooking around the world for years. I had finally landed my dream job, making good money and suddenly it disappeared. I ended up living in my parents’ basement, officially losing my job with the company due to bankruptcy. With no job, no income, this was the first time I had months off of work since I was 12 years old. I was in a bad spot, mentally and physically and turned to drinking and smoking. I let my health deteriorate.
When restaurants began to open up again, I opted to work at a chain restaurant in the city. It only lasted three weeks. While I had the perfect gig at Cirque, I realized the conditions of the restaurant industry for many workers back home was mortifying. Dirty conditions in the kitchen, low-pay, employees not washing their hands and a lack of teamwork and care. It was appalling.
While I’ve heard others outside the industry talk about CERB as a reason why there are staff shortages in the industry, the reality is that it’s the poor work conditions that are driving people to jump ship. The environment a lot of us have been introduced to has allowed the continued glorification of drugs and alcohol, thinking the “pirate” life of misfits coming together is just how it is. I mean, there is some truth there, but continued substance abuse, the never calling in sick, the not taking care of yourself like it’s a “norm” needs to stop.
These lockdowns have given me this opportunity for the first time in my life to sit still. It forced me me to look at myself in the mirror and realize what I didn’t like, and use this time to work on myself. I started cycling, quit smoking, quit drinking for a few months, and eventually cut down on alcohol altogether. I even went vegetarian for a couple of months.
This isn’t to blame the workers, but how poor the restaurant industry is run. It pushes workers to rely bad habits, to not call in sick to take time to take care of themselves. It pushes us to work 18-hour days for low wages and to forget who we are outside the kitchen.
What I’ve realized in this pandemic is how to learn to care for myself in an industry that won’t. While I will cherish the stories and crazy experiences I have and the passion and resilience working in a kitchen gave me, there is a mentally broken aspect. We need to realize there is more. Read that one more time: there IS more.
The kitchen once saved me, but if I kept going down that path, the kitchen would have ended me.
‘‘ While I’ve heard others outside the industry talk about CERB as a reason why there are staff shortages in the industry, the reality is that it’s the poor work conditions that are driving people to jump ship.
DEVON CLARK
DEVON CLARK IS AN EXECUTIVE CHEF. FOLLOW HIM @DEVONJCLARK ON INSTAGRAM