We were engulfed in silence at winter cottage getaway

Nancy is a “teacher, facilitator and coach” in her mid-30s who lives in the east end. She likes to read, journal, hike, practise mindfulness and says, “cleaning and organizing is my favourite type of meditation.”

Ethan and I desperately needed to reconnect. We were still deeply in love after four years together, but our lives often had us going in different directions. The way we processed the stress and drama of life and decompressed from it was often different. Ethan was often solo day to day, so he saw friends to play music and board games, while I spend most of my time in relationship with others as a teacher and like to decompress on my own. We decided to make use of an oft-empty family cottage for a winter getaway-slash-reconnection weekend.

I always looked forward to being in a new, special environment with Ethan. We needed time to be fully together. His energy can be scattered while I can be more serious and distant, so being alone together somewhere outside of our home with space to breathe was very important. We always ended up remembering why we were together.

We packed intentionally, with only a small trunk to contain every single thing we would need for a winter weekend, being mindful that there wouldn’t even be toilet paper or olive oil at the cottage at that time, and it would be very difficult to reach a store.

The first thing we did when we got there was shovel. We carved a path to the door and then from the door to an area overlooking the lake. The next several hours were spent setting up, building a fire in the stove, and creating a nest of blankets and sleeping bags nearby. The main part of the cottage was closed off to conserve heat. As we prepared for our stay, I felt a weight lift off my body and a feeling of warmth move through me.

We trekked out into the snow to explore the property. We couldn’t venture too far, both because of the dense snow and because of the fire that had been carefully built in the stove inside. There was no sound and no sign of any other human life, and we were mutually engulfed in the most incredible silence while gazing out over the lake. I was truly moved by it and I know that in his own way, Ethan was too. We naturally fell into our own silence as we simply observed the moment together. Even if we had just had that it would have been enough. It felt very special to me.

Eventually we went back inside to tend the fire and indulge in an early dinner of delicious charcuterie, flourless chocolate cake and red wine. We had planned to watch a movie on my laptop, but we weren’t in the mood and didn’t want to disrupt the “nest.” Instead, we talked broadly about life and how we see our place in the universe. It was a deep and restorative conversation, and not one I could imagine us having over dinner in a busy restaurant, or even at home. I could sense in Ethan an “opening” and I ever so gently pushed him on some topics, and I could see him taking it in and becoming thoughtful about them.

We were colder than we’d expected, so getting out of the “nest” for any reason was a challenge. We joked about setting up a bucket system near the bed. We ended up laughing hysterically about that.

In the morning we decided to leave earlier than expected. The cottage wasn’t winterized and while we were comfortable enough for the first night, we were very limited in our movements inside the living space. I also didn’t want to undo the meaning of the night before. We packed up quickly and went home, restored and connected. It was one of our best dates, after four years together.

Nancy rates her date (out of 10): 8