I feel like I’ve finally met my person

From 2020 through 2022, Phoebe did a lot of self-reflection. “I started running and meditating, and worked hard on being the best version of myself. When I finally felt confident, I decided to put myself out there. I put a lot of effort into writing my bio for dating apps, and chose recent pics that reflected my newfound confidence and love for myself.” Then she saw Tim’s profile online. “He seemed intelligent, self-confident, charismatic, quirky, fun and well-travelled.”

When we met online, Tim was in Buffalo for work but he lived in Los Angeles. After we had been messaging for a while, when he was back in L.A., Tim said he would come to Toronto to meet me.

I was very skeptical about everything. When I started online dating, my distance was set to 10 kilometres!

But the more we texted the more I realized this was something worth pursuing. When we did a video call, all my doubts seemed to fade. Tim’s personality really came across loud and clear. Also, no one has ever made much of an effort for me and here was Tim, flying all that way just to meet me. Once this realization hit, I started to get excited about his visit. Also, he was coming to my hometown so I had a place to go to if things didn’t work out. I felt very reassured by that.

We decided to get a hotel room together and planned a whole long weekend. I picked Tim up from the airport. He was making a huge effort, so I was willing to reciprocate.

I was immediately smitten. He kissed me, which I wasn’t expecting, but it just solidified the connection. Even after travelling, he still looked and smelled so good. It was all insane and such an adrenalin rush but, at the same time, there was no awkwardness. I didn’t feel any anxiety, which is totally unusual for me. Maybe it was some weird cosmic energy or fate, who knows. I know this sounds corny, but it felt like I found my person.

Tim really took me out of my comfort zone. I don’t meet strangers at the airport and spend the weekend with them … ever.

Tim has friends in Toronto and had been here before, and there were a few things he wanted to revisit. Our first night, we went to the 360 Restaurant.

It was a lovely, intimate first date together. We talked about family, relationships, ambitions, food and travel. We ended the night at a speakeasy in the west end.

The rest of the weekend involved more food, drinks, sports and just wandering the city. The days flew by. People are drawn to Tim and he’s able to connect so easily. I felt like I was with a celebrity. He has a great vibe. I found him very attractive.

We didn’t feel like we needed any time away from each other and I’m the type of person that values my alone time. We just wanted to spend as much time together as we could.

My one friend was very concerned about the whole situation. I did have to share my location and text everyday at a certain time to check in. I slept in one morning and woke up to a barrage of messages and her planning to come to the hotel to check up on me. She’s a great friend!

Tim and I spent the last day exploring the Distillery District. Our conversation over lunch just made me like him more. We talked about his life in L.A., his dogs, and our upbringings and totally different backgrounds. Both of us turned 40 this year and felt we had put our lives on hold or just made a lot of sacrifices along the way. Maybe this is the time for us to live our lives.

We also talked about our future, but didn’t make any promises to each other or any plans. I told Tim he shared many good qualities with my dad, which he appreciated.

I dropped Tim off at the airport. It was only after we were back to our own routines that we decided to give the relationship a go. He came back recently and met my family. We did a few road trips and it felt like a mini-moon. We plan to see each other every two months and take it from there.

Phoebe rates her date (out of 10):