Workplaces must treat women better

With International Women’s Day on Friday, there is sure to be the largely performative display of “support for women” that we have become accustomed to. It will be happily splashed on social media by Canadian organizations pledging to either “do more” or congratulating themselves on all they have already done.

Of course, there are organizations that are true champions around the inclusivity of women (long before the trendy hashtag). Their actions are cause for celebration. The women who work for these organizations tell me that their voices matter, even when their opinions are unpopular.

They tell me that there is always a chair available for them at the tables where the real discussions take place. These women, at least in my view, are far and few. The organizations they work for are far and few.

These are not lofty statements; my frame of reference is my practice of many years. The women I have represented complain of sexism, tokenism, feeling used in advancing certain public initiatives and of being gaslit by their superiors (men and women). The legal and medical field are by far the worst. I represent many lawyers and physicians.

Here is what I have learned: The agreement to support women in leadership positions is a soft position. It is grossly deferential to those that are actually in power and in most cases it is not the women who we see on the IWD posters.

These organizations have idyllic notions of what it means to have women at the table. The posts and announcements are loud, but the discussions in the boardrooms are sulky, with leaders acquiescing, but only begrudgingly.

The real agreement is as follows: women leaders will be supported, but there is a limit to that support. Under the guise of putting forward a leadership team that includes women, organizations want to reap the benefits of diversity with only the perception of diversity. Women step into leadership positions and then realize, that they either have to fight to reclaim their identity or move out of the roles all together. Many of them leave demoralized.

My clients also complain of feeling diminished in the workplace. Several of them tell me that men remain as the true decision makers. Not all men look to understand the experience that women bring to the table. When a woman’s voice is an echo — it is acceptable, when she uses her voice to express an opinion, there is sometimes resistance.

Some of my clients tolerate harassment at the cost of staying in their roles. There is anger and resentment toward some women leaders, and the only explanation is that those being forced to sit at the table with these women are insecure.

It can look like this: you come into work and others are relentless in undermining you on every issue so as to make it clear that your voice means little. You are tactically left out of important decision-making. The contributions of your male counterparts are celebrated, but when you bring something of value to the table — there is nothing but silence (and sometimes anger).

You constantly remind the mother ship of your value and often have to tolerate insidious attacks on the quality of your work (and sometimes your integrity). In some cases, I have seen allegations levied against clients that have left them both befuddled and terrified (the question they ask: how far is someone willing to go to get rid of me?)

It is even harder for racialized women and women with disabilities. While others in the workplace might sympathize with their plight, they are unwilling to “go on the record” for fear of reprisal or similar ostracization.

I represent these women every day and even in my role, I share in some of their experiences. The women I represent work for organizations and companies that will tweet, post and blog about all of the right things you want to hear about — maybe just on IWD.

If they fought the internal battle with as much vigour as the public battle around inclusivity of women, my piece today would probably be more celebratory.