Building intergenerational connections
Programs in Kitchener tackle issues of loneliness and isolation by bringing young and old together
Rukia Mohamud loves Mondays.
That’s when the 65-year-old joins other seniors and high school students to talk, play basketball, and eat together in a Kitchener community centre.
Mohamud, who came to Canada in 2001 from Kenya, experienced many losses during the pandemic. Her son died suddenly in 2020, her husband the following year, and her mother a few months later.
But despite her pain, her focus is on the positive — like the beloved grandson her deceased son left her, who is now seven. “I say ‘Alhumdulillah (praise be to God),’ ” Mohamud said.
When she’s not spending time with her children and grandchildren, Mohamud lives alone. She remembers where she and her husband used to sit and talk. They would always eat together at the table, something she can no longer bear. Instead, Mohamud eats in the living room with a plate in her lap.
The community centre programs, hosted by African Family Revival Organization (AFRO), offer much needed sanctuary. They’ve become a place where she and youth find connection.
“I wish every day was Monday,” Mohamud said.
Young people and older adults are among the loneliest Canadians.
Almost a quarter of people aged 15 to 24 always or often felt lonely in 2021, StatCan reports. The same was true for 15 per cent of people aged 25 to 34 and 14 per cent of adults 75-plus.
However, research shows bringing people together across generations benefits them both, in combating loneliness and more.
Loneliness not only affects our mental health, but our physical health, too. In older adults, it increases the risk of dementia, premature death, stroke, coronary heart disease and dying from cancer.
Research shows the adverse health effects from loneliness is similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
It’s partly because people who are lonely tend to have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increased inflammation, which can lead to chronic conditions, said Rachel Savage, a scientist at Women’s College Hospital focusing on aging and loneliness.
During AFRO meetups, high school student Shishay Tinseaw heard the immigration experiences of seniors from East Africa, which helped him value his own chance to increase his education after coming to Canada in 2018.
“It’s like being with your actual grandparents,” Tinseaw, whose own grandparents are back in Eritrea. “They care about you … and they see our potential.”
The Kitchener resident added that he takes the advice of the seniors more seriously than that of his own parents.
Tinseaw has gone through his share of isolation, originally struggling with English when he came to Canada, and not feeling like he belonged.
“They build that relationship,” Mona Loffelmann, AFRO’s founder and executive director.
Most agree that there’s something special about a grandparent’s relationship with their grandchildren. The energy and vibrancy of children brings people joy, some say.
It’s a relationship free of direct obligation, said Laura Tamblyn Watts, CEO of CanAge.
Seniors and youth spending time together helps improves self-esteem, said Savage. Loneliness makes people think they’re less likeable, she notes, though often their isolation is due to reasons beyond their control.
Spending time with older adults helps younger people have a better outlook on life and aging, and feel like they belong. For seniors, being around young people helps combat the idea that loneliness is simply part of aging.
The connections have impact even when young children are involved. At a music therapy program in five Ontario long-term-care homes, children under four were invited to join older residents to sing, play drums, blow bubbles and sway to music together.
On the days of the jamboree, one resident would wheel themselves over to a window, excitedly watching for parents pulling into the parking lot with their babies, Kate Dupuis, a clinical neuropsychologist who helps carry out the program and assess it.
Being around children elevated their mood, said Dupuis, noting that it could help the residents, who may have dementia or difficulty with nutrition, have easier mealtimes.
The children, too, develop relationships with the seniors and become more comfortable with them. They might bang on a drum together with a senior, or wave to them, or remember their name, she adds.
Crucially, bringing people together across age groups is one of the ways the World Health Organization recommends combating ageism, since it helps dispel stereotypes. It can also help reduce stigma by increasing awareness about dementia, experts say.
Contact across age groups also opens doors for trading skills and secrets.
Adeline Warmington, a former nurse who worked in long-term care and retirement homes, had knee surgery a few years ago and needed help. Two young women from AFRO volunteered to help the 74-year-old with personal care and household chores.
Warmington, who is known at AFRO as “Ms. D.,” said she developed a friendship with the students. “I could tell that it was a joy for them to come into my home,” she said, adding she would also ask them about school and offer advice. She hopes their experience caring for her will help them care for others, too.
The youth also got support from their older friends.
Franchesco Eyob, another youth volunteer, one of the seniors helped him make a resume.
“They’re there for us,” he said.
Almost a quarter of people aged 15 to 24 always or often felt lonely in 2021, StatCan reports. The same was true for 15 per cent of people aged 25 to 34 and 14 per cent of adults 75-plus