‘Where is Kate’ carnival grinds to a halt
What a difference a video message makes.
Before Friday’s update from the royals, the “Where is Kate?” carnival was in full swing. The latest attraction to hit the midway was dissecting that grainy video purported to be the “missing princess” at a farmers market, internet sleuths attempting to poke holes in its veracity with the same excitement you’d try to throw rings around milk bottles to win a giant knock-off Minion.
However, the mood has now shifted. In just a few deeply dignified minutes of screen time, Kate, the Princess of Wales, shut down the circus herself, emerging back into the public eye with news of her cancer diagnosis — and a renewed plea for privacy, if only for the sake of three very young children whose mother is facing a universally agreed upon Worst Nightmare.
Within minutes, the rides came to a grinding halt, the whirligig of conspiracy stopped spinning and — to mix metaphors here — the lights went on in the club and this whole dystopian disco of disinformation was revealed for what it was: Sticky, sordid and very, very silly.
Was it our collective finest hour as a species? No. But in our defence, we’re not the first humans to lose the plot like this — the line between Beatlemania and the Salem witch trials is a fine one; it’s always fun for us and a nightmare for them — and we live in an epoch where algorithms mine other people’s pain for our entertainment all the time.
I saw the instant vibe change in my own immediate circle: A group text thread that had been filled with nonsensical memes (the “Kate coming back at Easter like Jesus at the resurrection” was a particular hit) and semi-credulous sharing of so-called TikTok deep dives into Kate’s alleged “disappearance” was suddenly sober remorse: “This makes me want cry,” wrote one pal. “I feel slightly horrible about all the conspiracy theories now,” wrote another.
On the internet — the nexus of so much of the nonsensical speculation — the mood feels similarly chastened. Just take a look at the comments underneath the Instagram post that houses Kate’s announcement. “We’re all very cruel,” wrote one person. “We made up stories and shamed their family … Because of our cruelty, the Princess had to open up about something very personal in which we all have no involvement and can do nothing to help.”
“It’s a shame media and conspiracy theories have forced her hand,” wrote another. “No one should be bullied into making such an announcement,” said one more, echoing dozens of similar sentiments.
Over on TikTok, the more balanced accounts that have covered this have similar comments sections. Take American royal commentator Matta of Fact, whose comments section is filled with the likes of “Poor Kate. The internet pressured her into doing this,” and “The scrutiny on social media especially was unbearable.”
This marked vibe shift is down to the sobering nature of a cancer diagnosis, yes, but credit must be given to Kate’s statement as well.
As any crisis PR expert will tell you, a moment like this demands authenticity — and here it seems we got Kate, for so long a cipher hidden behind coat dresses and a bouncy curl, at her realest yet.
Bone tired and deeply weary — with the burden of her diagnosis, yes, but also with everyone who lost their minds down a rabbit hole — she traded the mystery that had shrouded her for weeks for clarity and a touch of vulnerability.
And, in acknowledging the kindness of well-wishers, she also implicitly made us aware that she knew about the wild speculation and sordid gossip too. After all, if she’d seen one, she’d seen the inescapable other too.
In fact, there was a strategic takedown of some of the rumours without ever mentioning them: The emphasis of on being “well,” refuted the gamut of claims (the coma, the mental breakdown) that had in hindsight made a mockery of the properly serious physical struggle she faces; the tribute to William and his support, clearly aimed at those who have, via unfounded rumours about an affair, been predicting a pending divorce with concerning anticipation.
Most importantly, in speaking on her own behalf and emphasizing her active role in all this — protecting her children, focusing on her healing, drawing a clear boundary with the public as she recovers — she’s making it obvious she is not the hapless victim that so many of the soap opera subplots painted her as.
That it got this way, however, does lie in some part with the way the palace handled this situation, even with the hindsight we have now. The doctored image fiasco, for example, makes even less sense now than it did, particularly the choice to have Kate — while battling cancer — fall on her sword and cop the blame for it.
Or maybe it is just as simple as she’s the boss, and no sane employee would call out their leader’s inept Photoshopping, whatever the stakes?
If the heartbreakingly banal explanation behind Kate’s absence has taught us anything, it’s that the most obvious explanation might be the right one.
If there is any prevailing vibe at the moment, other than deep empathy for a woman facing cancer, it is a sense that her own team did her dirty.
Which begs the question: Now that we do know the truth we bayed for, will we actually honour what Kate asked, and let her recover in peace?
Well, if the fresh round of conspiracy doubling-down that’s already appeared is anything to judge by, it’s a depressing, disappointing “no.”