Escape rooms, games, spell love
The Daters
Filipino-Canadian actor and writer Isabel Kanaan co-created and stars in the Canadian Screen Awardnominated show “Abroad.” She has also written and appeared on “TallBoyz” and “This Hour Has 22 Minutes.” Season 3 of “Abroad” premieres on OMNI in May.
The Dates
“I was a serial monogamist. I’d date whoever was around, meaning I’d fall in love with friends of friends, classmates, colleagues. Yes, I was that person — the one who would poop where they ate. Looking back, the relationships didn’t work because there was no intention behind them other than going with the flow.
My now-husband, sales rep husband Andrei Preda, and I were in a play together, years ago. I was in a long-term relationship and he was as well so we never really got to know each other, but I remember being intrigued by him. In a room full of rowdy actors, he stayed quiet and introspective. How exciting!
A while later, I had enough of dating whoever was just around me, so I finally gave a dating app a try. He messaged me and we recognized each other right away. His profile told me more about him than all the years we’ve known each other did.
It told me he was close with his family, goofy, and that we had way more common interests than I initially thought, all things I was looking for in a partner. After six days of messaging each other nonstop and him admitting to me his obsession with speed chess — I swooned — we decided to meet up.
Unlike my previous relationships, I entered this dating experience with intention; I was looking for someone to settle down with. He was looking for the same thing so we didn’t hesitate to set up our first date at 11 a.m. We did a walk-andstop date.
We set boundaries along Toronto that we could walk in and within those boundaries, we’d each set up a stop that we think the other would love to explore. He took me to a tea shop and I took him to an escape room.
From the moment the date started to when it ended late at night, I felt free and safe. We talked all day, even about things that usually people wouldn’t usually bring up on a first date, like the fact that he’s had multiple feet surgeries so his future partner would most likely be pushing him around in a wheelchair, and that I have two brothers with autism who will end up living with me once my parents pass.
For a normal date, these would probably scare the other away, but it brought us closer together and it set up a great foundation for the start of our relationship. Moral of our first date? Say the thing you’re most afraid to say. If they’re the right person for you, it doesn’t matter whether you tell them on your first or 50th date, so might as well get it over with quick.
We did multiple escape rooms, board game nights, stay-in puzzle days and exploration dates. With our more game-centred dates, we learned to trust each other. They showed me that we can challenge each other without pushing anyone’s boundaries. It also taught us patience.
We’ve been to a ton of escape rooms, but really love Escape Manor and Roundabout Canada Escape Room. These spots are perfect to learn patience and how to work together under pressure. We also like rock-climbing at The Rock Oasis and Basecamp Climbing. These places are perfect for teaching couples how to rely on each other, activate those muscles together and even problem-solve together. We often do a short date trip to the BMV on Bloor, too. There’s nothing more relaxing to us than getting each other cheap books then cosying up together and reading the night away.
During our many talks, we’d casually talk about our future and we knew we’d end up marrying each other. He’d drop hints he was planning how to propose, but little did he know that I had plans myself. I proposed to him first in an escape room where the final clue led him to turn around to me on one knee asking him to marry me.
Unbeknownst to me, he was planning the exact same thing except the ring he had made was delayed so, a month later, he proposed to me in an escape room where the final clue led me to open a ring box with the custom-made ring, forged from the gold of his mom’s old ring, my birth stones on each side and my favourite stone in the centre, an emerald.
We wanted to expand our family, so shortly after we got married I got pregnant and this put a pause to our usual date getaways. Being pregnant takes a lot out of you, physically and mentally, so we had to manoeuvre our dates to accommodate my needs.
Instead of hikes, we’ve walked around parks. Instead of rock climbing, we’ve visited petting farms. Instead of escape rooms, we’ve done escape-room board games at home.
We will have two kinds of dates moving forward: dates with just us and family dates with our child. We think the mere continuing of having dates by ourselves already makes them special. Prioritizing our connection as lovers is just as important as our connection as parents.
But when it’s just the two of us? Strip chess perhaps!”