Beyond grateful for the embrace I’m feeling

The first email arrived just after 8 a.m.

I was still a little groggy reading it. I had been up with my dad during the night, caring for him because of his dementia.

The Chronicle Herald and Cape Breton Post, in their Saturday, Jan. 6, editions, had both run my column entitled ‘My dad's hands: Then, now and dementia.' It had run the Tri-County Vanguard days earlier and on our Saltwire website too.

A person, a stranger, had read my column that Saturday morning and felt the need to immediately reach out. He told me: “This is one of the most powerful accounts of life with dementia I have ever read. Wonderfully put together and saturated with authenticity. A bittersweet ‘thank you' for your efforts.”

I was beyond moved and thanked him for his very kind words.

But it didn't end there. The emails kept coming.

“What you and your family are going through with your dad is unimaginably difficult. Sharing it publicly cannot be easy either. Thank you for helping bring awareness to this terrible disease through your personal experience and shining the light on the realities of families experiencing dementia. Not everyone can do it, particularly the way you do,” said someone.

Said someone else, “I am a retired nurse and spent my career working in long-term care. I am therefore very familiar with dementia and its devastating effects. I was also very close to my Dad. He passed away at 65 before he had a chance to enjoy his retirement. Your article touched my heart. Made me lonesome. Grateful for the relationship we had. Empathy

for the loss you are feeling. It can be such a struggle. God bless you and your family.”

And again, the emails kept coming.

I was overwhelmed, but in a good way. That readers took the time to personally reach out to me to tell me how moved they had been by my words was very special indeed. Many shared their own personal struggles with dementia. As their hearts broke for me, my heart broke for them.

I am an open book. Since as a journalist I ask people to share their lives with me, I feel it only right that I share my lives with them. There are many reasons why I do it. Not only is it therapeutic to express myself in words, but I aim to raise awareness and understanding. I also want people to know that if they are going through difficult times in their lives, they are not alone.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and the days that followed, the emails kept coming.

“Thanks so much for your slant on the illness that is robbing us of the joy of knowing our loved ones as they could/should be. Dementia is a thief, and a cruel one. My lovely, wonderful husband is dealing with it. I guess we are dealing with it together. Thank you for your article. It was good for me to read it,” wrote someone.

Wrote someone else, “I wanted to thank you for your article about being a caregiver for your father. I'm the primary caregiver for my Mom. After another fall scare today I had a chance to sit and read a pile of papers this evening and came across your article. I'll cut it out and save it for another time when I've had a difficult day. I wanted you to know that your words helped me find inspiration on a day when I needed it.”

I didn't just read the emails. I reached out to everyone who had sent one. In some cases, we engaged emails back and forth, sharing each other's stories. This included a senior who had lost his wife last year. Their love story that he shared with me was amazing. His beautiful wife, who died in his arms, even donated her body to medical science for the further study of dementia. What a beautiful, meaningful gift.

As the emails kept coming, I had never felt a stronger connection with our readers in my 33-plus years as a journalist.

Some of you, locally, also sent emails telling me how you know and met my dad. What a treasure those messages were.

“I just finished reading your article,” another woman told me. “I don't think I have ever read a more touching piece on just what dementia does to people. I have to say it brought me to tears and just wanted to say thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece.”

Again, I want to say thank you for the loving embrace I felt from you all.