Son becoming a woman seeks the best way to tell parents
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 26-year-old who is about to come out as transgender. I was born a male and will be transitioning into a female. My family doesn’t know yet and I have been debating for the past couple of years how to tell them.
My parents divorced when I was two and had a rocky relationship until recently. They both are now remarried and living happy lives. Can you please tell me how to tell them that I am a transgender woman? I would love to bring both of them together and talk, just the three of us, but I don’t know if that would be the best option. What do I do? – TRANSGENDER IN ARIZONA
DEAR TRANSGENDER: If you have something that needs to be discussed with them, you should bring them together to talk privately about it. It would be the best way to give them the news.
Because you’re looking for the words to explain what you’re planning to tell them, contact PFLAG for suggestions. It is an organization that has been helping gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals to come out for many years. To contact it, go to pflag.org.
DEAR ABBY: I have an amazing grandmother who has five daughters, one son and more than 30 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She has been widowed for 10 years. Her only companions now are her dog and her fellow residents in an independent living home for seniors.
Gran is able to drive but chose not to buy a car, so on my only day off, I feel guilty if I don’t take her to the places she needs to go for the week. She says I’m the only one in our large family she can rely on.
I love her and jump to help because I would hate to see anything happen to her. But what can I do, Abby? I feel like I’m having to make up for what others are not doing for their mother and grandmother. – CARING GRANDDAUGHTER IN KENTUCKY
DEAR GRANDDAUGHTER: Your feelings are accurate; what’s happening is unfair to you. I suggest you discuss this with your parents, aunts, uncle and cousins and see if perhaps each family unit would be willing to help your grandmother with these errands on a rotational basis – say a week a month. There are so many of you that it wouldn’t be onerous.