Son’s drug habit causes crisis in mother’s marriage

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a loving and supportive man for 15 years. We have been through a lot together and, for the most part, have been OK. My problem is my son, “Kyle.”

Yes, I know Kyle is a liar who steals anything not nailed down. And yes, he needs help for his drug habit — but he is still my son.

My husband told me I either tell Kyle he is not welcome in our home or our marriage is over, so I gave him back my wedding ring. I refuse to tell my son he can’t come over.

What do I do now? I don’t want to lose my husband, but I refuse to lose my son, as well. — TORN IN TWO IN TULSA

DEAR TORN IN TWO: If you love your son and your husband and value your marriage, you will tell your husband you spoke hastily and ask for the ring back. Then you will finally put your foot down and stop enabling Kyle to continue his drug habit. Tell Kyle he is no longer welcome in the house, and will be welcome to cross your threshold only if he has completed rehab and is willing to make amends. This is called creating boundaries. It may be painful, but it is important that you find the strength and courage to do this because your son’s life may depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: I am the editor of a local newspaper and manage two others. Your message (March 27) about it being “too late” to run a wedding announcement is nonsense. We regularly receive announcements six to seven months after weddings. Also, the announcement does not have to be submitted by the couple. Grandparents or parents in the community can send them, too.

Young people today think that once something is on social media it is “official,” forgetting that not everyone is on social media, and not everyone is connected to their profiles.

So please tell the person who wrote that letter to send in that wedding announcement and enjoy having the hard copy memento of a happy occasion. I wouldn’t be surprised if someday those newlyweds will be very happy to have a physical copy of their announcement. — NEWSPAPER LADY IN KANSAS

DEAR NEWSPAPER LADY: I’m glad you wrote because I’m sure many readers will benefit from it.

However, the writer of that letter stated that her daughterin-law said she didn’t want the announcement in the newspaper and her son agreed. I cannot “bless” the writer going against their wishes, which were made clear.