‘Put yourself in your teen’s shoes’
Parents encouraged to stay positive, ask open-ended questions, invite their children to open up
YARMOUTH, N.S. – There has been no shortage of talk – in the media, among political and community leaders, health officials and others – about cannabis.
However, another place this topic should be addressed is in the home, where parents can talk about it with their children as early as possible says Jeff Thoms, a clinical social worker with the IWK Health Centre in Halifax who specializes in mental health.
He encourages parents to keep a few things in mind when talking to their kids about cannabis.
Parents should try to keep things positive, engage in a dialogue with their kids, rather than lecture them, and try to see things from their son’s or daughter’s perspective.
“You really need to put yourself in your teen’s shoes,” Thoms says. Try to appreciate adolescent culture and the messages that are coming from the mass media.
The goal is to get kids to feel comfortable enough that they will open up, he says.
“Don’t lecture,” he warns. “What happens when you start lecturing a young person? Usually they shut down.”
Another suggestion is to frame questions in a way that encourages kids to talk.
“Try asking open-ended questions,” he says. “You want to get into a dialogue.”
Parents should end by asking their kids if there’s anything else they would like to add, realizing it’s a topic they will discuss again, Thoms said.
“It’s not a one-off conversation,” he said.
While he says parents should appreciate their children’s honesty – he acknowledges cannabis can be an awkward, difficult subject – parents also should respect their children’s wishes if they say they aren’t ready to talk about it.
Thoms has a point he wants to get across.
“We want to set the environment where the kid is going to be doing most of the talking, and really the focus should be on the relationship with the child,” he says.
He advises parents to talk to their children about drugs as soon as possible.
“If your kid’s in grade school, we should be at least starting to have those conversations,” he says.