Depending on the stage Mom’s at, choose wisely

For the motherof youngchildren, howabout a day off?

You’re probably reading this before Mother’s Day, which is good because I can give you advice, if you are the child or husband of a mother.

If you are a young mother or a helpful (!) grandmother, you can cut this out and give it to a young father because, let’s face it, it is up to the father to help young children make Mother’s Day.

My friend Janine and I used to dread Mother’s Day because we both started motherhood with sentimental expectations. We have infamous Mother’s Day stories, some of which I’ve told before, but I will tell them again as a public service to mothers who haven’t heard them.

There was the year when F.U. (Former ’Usband) asked me what I would like to do, and I said I would love to spend a whole day in my new little greenhouse. He said not to worry about supper and went off to play not one, but two rounds of golf, leaving me with our two little daughters. The girls were playing in the backyard and ended up in tears about something and I sat in the greenhouse and cried, too.

One year, when, between us, Janine and I had five little darlings under the age of seven, we decided to run away for the afternoon. With all the excitement of stopping the fights about who got to put what on the breakfast tray and cleaning up the spills, who could blame us for forgetting that the men had an early afternoon tee-off time? Haha.

It was a nice day and we sat on a rock by the ocean for a while, figuratively crying on each other’s shoulders, and then took ourselves off to a place where we figured the men would never find us; sitting at a bar drinking brandy and gin Alexanders, respectively, on her husband’s credit card.

Then there was the year that Little Sister, lonely in Labrador with a new baby herself, told Hubby she wanted me for Moth-er’s Day and he sent me a ticket. That was a very good one. I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that the best Mother’s Day gift you can give the mother of young children is a day off.We become mothers of older children and adults, and then we become grandmothers and adult children who are inclined to buy a gift should ask themselves: Whois this woman, besides being my mother? Does my baby boomer mother want more stuff or is she trying to get rid of stuff? This baby-boomer mother finds most online suggestions for‘ stuff’ for Mother’s Day gifts some what amusing, such as a bamboo cheese board that will ‘help me take my hosting game tothe next level’, an Indigo Dutch Oven with a-six quart capacity ora Guide to New & Old Classic Cocktails. My hosting skills peaked back in the day when I was using thebig Dutch oven that I now use to hide treats from the grandchil-dren. I’ve long since settled on my drinks of choice but l could give the cocktail guide to my children, so they can start surprising their mother with new delights.An idea I do like is a new ver-sion of a Polaroid. Fujifilm makes one and in case you think this isonly for dinosaurs who don’t consider a picture to be a real picture if they can’t hold it intheir hands, it also comes with aselfie mirror for the perfect selfie photo every time, so there goesyour dino theory. Last Mother’s Day my daugh-ters set the table in the sun room with tulips, served me eggs Bene-dict and champagne, after which I finished the champagne while watching a Blue Jays game, with real blue jays on the window ledge and goldfinches in the cra-bapple tree, a few feet away. That was a 10 out of 10.